The All-Teen Wolf Team
by: Linwood Jenkins, for Sports
Simply a team assembled of the most over-dribbling fast ass pesky muhfuckka’s in modern day NBA history. At times they’ve made us all sick whether they were playing against or for our teams.
Lil Earl Boykins (Captain)
Not only is he pressed to run around real fast with that ball, but if you fuck with him enough he will lift your S.U.V. and do a full set of 12. You just make him mad enough.
Allen Iverson
Don’t pay attention to them assists, they’ll only distract you. He wants that ball so he can do laps in that half court set until he finds a chance to shoot.
Mike Wilks
Sorry, but I totally forgot what I was gonna say here. Mike looks so much like a wigless tranny in this photo, I can’t even concentrate.
Michael Adams
You know what kind of gunner is the most entertaining gunner? The fast ass one that kicks his feet like a fish when he shoots jumpers, because his short ass shouldn’t be shooting from that far back in the first place.
Nate Robinson
I’d take pleasure in seeing Nate and Lil Earl placed into a rather large jar, then have an unwrapped Charleston Chew thrown in with them and witness one of the two expire.
Tyus Edney
When he played for the Pacers he hit Iverson with this hurried ass cross that was so rapid that by the time A.I. could react, his feet had no idea what was going on and he fell hard as shit. I mean, you heard him smack the floor. This was a minute ago though, like Jalen hadn’t gotten his teeth fixed yet.
TJ Ford
I wanted to talk about that lil fun move he used to do back in high school where he would roll around and still keep his dribble, but TJ’s neck and I don’t have time for all that, right now. We're both resting.
Mugsy Bouges
See, the reason Tyrone is on the squad and Spud isn’t is because Anthony wasn’t pressed to make people mad. He was too busy laughing at ‘Nique’s vertical. Mugsy, on the other hand, was all about pissing old niggas like Dennis Johnson (R.I.P.) and their bad knees off.
Mateen Cleaves
He will dribble for three days, not take a shot and not even Riley from The Boondocks will be mad at him for it. It’s The ‘Teen, y'all.
