FIYA NFL
Rankings
**Week 9** |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Titans
 |
24 carries seems like a bit too much for a rookie, but Chris Johnson didn't fumble or pass out after any of them, so I guess I can let that fly. |
2 |
Giants
 |
|
3 |
Steelers
 |
That 'Wich, Bitch. He back, He black and his DC accent is more powerful than a megaton bomb. |
4 |
Panthers
 |
It was good to see athletes taking an interest in this year's election. Steve Smith, for example, threatened undecideds bodily harm in North Carolina on his week off. He didn't have to do that. |
5 |
Redskins
 |
A Dem is back in office, Carlos Rogers has stone hands and a QB controversy is on the horizon. Everything is getting back to normal in the Nation's Capitol. |
6 |
Bears
 |
Great. Just as Randy Orton is back healthy, Kyle goes down. I feel like I'm never gonna get to bang out this wrestling-football ball line of jokes. |
7 |
Packers
 |
Tough loss in Tennessee, but it could have been worse had Favre been their QB. |
8 |
Eagles
 |
Yup, right on time; the inevitable Philly second half push. These muhfuckkas watch way too many Rocky movies. |
9 |
Cardinals
 |
Even though we're in a recession its good to know money has no bearing on negotiations with the Devil, as evidenced by Kurt Warner re-upping his deal. |
10 |
Buccaneers
 |
I'm starting to understand why all old people move to Florida. There's got to be something in the eggs at Denny's down there. With Joey Galloway gone, I just realized Derrick Brooks and Ronde Barber are old as shit and still beasting too. |
11 |
Saints
 |
Goddamn! My girl just made some shrimp etouffee after watching Emeril Live. I couldn't imagine playing football and having a bye week anywhere near that dude's restaurant. I'd be big as a house full of Lendale White's relatives. |
12 |
Ravens
 |
Mr. Suggs, I'm sure your fans appreciate your efforts on the field, but you need to shut the fuck up with all that Troy Smith politickin. Flacc Joe run this and he don’t need to be lookin over his shoulder at you or Kordell 2k8. |
13 |
Patriots
 |
LMAO, them lil ass passes to Welker don't work no more. |
14 |
Jets
 |
This is all he has to do; not lose it for the defense. NOPE, you see it. |
15 |
Bills
 |
Looks like they're one pull away from unraveling. 30 yards on the ground aint gonna cut it. |
16 |
Falcons
 |
Mike Turner is about to move ahead of Portis on my Pro-Bowl ballot. |
17 |
Cowboys
 |
I understand they're injured, but fuck all that; they can't stop the run or protect the QB. That aint got shit to do with Romo. As a matter of fact, that's how he got banged up and why he'll be running for his life when he gets back. Also, they passed on that 'Wich when he was on waivers; Hi Haters. |
18 |
Colts
 |
I was a believer before, but now I'm really a follower. Bob Sanders is the most important player on that team. He continues to be the difference between a win and a loss, straight up. |
19 |
Dolphins
 |
For once a Chad is not to blame in South Florida…u mad? |
20 |
Chargers
 |
|
21 |
Vikings
 |
With Orton out, its now or never for Minny to make their move in the North. I see them and the Pack battling it out. |
22 |
Browns
 |
I wouldn’t be mad had Anderson been benched after one of the early debacles, but to bench him after the pretty good game he had against that Ravens defense is some bullshit. Brady better look like a world-beater against the Broncos, next week, or I am going to light Romeo's ass up, next week. |
23 |
Jaguars
 |
I'm done with these guys. |
24 |
Broncos
 |
Ok, it started off as a joke, but Jay Cutler is a piece of shit and all of the people that disagreed with me when I refused to crown him Joe Montana are gonna simply ignore it like THIS aint happening? Oh, fuck that, you bitches were wrong and I'm on it. Know what else? Vince is still better like I said all along. |
25 |
Texans
 |
Now he gets hurt when he's not facing the Lions and Bungles. Plea Coppin Schaub. |
26 |
Seahawks
 |
Condolences go out to Mike Holmgren who lost the "Chico Stick Mustache Bowl" against his pal Andy Reid. Gotta be a tough, sweet, yet a salty one to swallow. |
27 |
Rams
 |
Too bad the NFL voided that contract St. Louis offered Jimmy Haslett. They're sorry again and probably won't extend that shit after they figure it out. |
28 |
49ers
 |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA, they said Coach Mike lookin for that rat. HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAAA, I'd be scared as shit if I was the snitch. Aint no telling what he might do to that dude. |
29 |
Raiders
 |
10 yards total passing? I could have thrown for more with my left hand after I sat on it for a day. |
30 |
Chiefs
 |
Well, on the bright side, when Tyler Thigpen is cutting sheet metal next year, he can tell his co-workers he threw and caught a touchdown in an NFL game. |
31 |
Bengals
 |
Nice win, but Chad kissing Coach Lewis is starting to disturb me. |
32 |
Lions
 |
Not that I'm worthy of being a coach, but you saw my suggestion that the Lions throw that damn ball up to Calvin a few times and how that shit worked out and almost got them a win last week. NOPE, you saw it. |
