FIYA NFL
Rankings
**Week 8** |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Titans
 |
All they need is for Albert Haynesworth to do that crazy ass Que Dog dance before each game and they could pass for the 2000 Ravens. |
2 |
Giants
 |
The 4th & 6 pass to Toomer was as beautiful as Angel Luv's profile. On the other hand, facing that defensive line is as disturbing as a Sheri Shepherd's. |
3 |
Redskins
 |
Anyone else catch London Fletcher on the sideline crying after he sealed the game? What the fuck was that all about? Talk about emotional; that looked like a subplot from a bad movie where his kid was being held prisoner until London made sure the spread was covered. |
4 |
Panthers
 |
|
5 |
Steelers
 |
Told you before, keep their running game in check and you've got a chance when all is dependant upon Mr. Hold The Ball. |
6 |
Bears
 |
According to Kyle Orton, he brushed his beard for the entire week and he's ready to go. |
7 |
Packers
 |
While Aaron Rodgers got some light practice in during the Pack's bye, Ryan Grant got some more shopping in. |
8 |
Patriots
 |
I'm noticing a pattern here. Cassel only throws the ball to Moss every other week. I'm telling you, don't start Randy, next week. |
9 |
Bills
 |
Don't give up on Buffalo just yet. Just remember the Dolphins not only beat, but destroyed the Pats a few weeks ago. They're AFC-East spoilers. 5-2 is no reason to sell the farm. |
10 |
Cowboys
 |
Brad Johnson was eerily calm as the reports came down that he may not start next week, despite beating the Buccs. All of this came from the film room as he watched tape of the Giants pass rush. |
11 |
Buccaneers
 |
Jeff Garcia looked like he was auditioning for Dancing With the Stars back there. Goddamn, he was actin a fool. Get Brian Griese back up in there, Chucky.. |
12 |
Eagles
 |
Hard to believe a player makes that much of a difference to an offense…well, unless you've watched Philly without Westbrook the past three seasons. |
13 |
Cardinals
 |
'Zona lost a heartbreaker to Carolina, but if there's anything positive to take from the loss its that Steve Breaston looks like he's really ready for primetime. |
14 |
Saints
 |
Does anyone else get fucked out of more home games than New Orleans? |
15 |
Ravens
 |
Arson's FIYA Political Wish of the Week: If you don't vote for Obama next Tuesday, I hope the Republicans foreclose on your house and use it as that nimrod's closet for the next four years, while you perfect the penmanship on your "Why lie, I need a beer" sign. |
16 |
Browns
 |
If they had a Republican's chance on Nov. 4, against the Steelers I'd say they could still win the division, but they don’t. |
17 |
Jaguars
 |
Too inconsistent. They are my new Carolina Panthers. |
18 |
Broncos
 |
Worse division leading team on Earth. |
19 |
Jets
 |
They suck Favre off so much, I heard someone say Jets fans weren't really booing him, but just practicing for Halloween on Friday. 'Scust. |
20 |
Falcons
 |
Move them to Canada and rename them the Canadian Bret Harts after that screw job. |
21 |
Colts
 |
Has a team not named the Patriots ever sealed a division as quick as the Titans did with that win against Indy? These mofo's are DEFINITELY playing for a Wildcard spot in week friggin 9. |
22 |
Chargers
 |
Sad part is they're still gonna win the division. |
23 |
Vikings
 |
When Gus suggested the team go on a boat ride to bond during the bye week, two of his lineman threw him head first into a barrier. That jogged his memory, twice. |
24 |
Dolphins
 |
OK, Steve Breaston is one thing, but I refuse to believe in this Ted Ginn Jr. shit. NO WAY! |
25 |
Texans
 |
Alright, I'll give him his props; Matt Schaub plays very well against winless teams. |
26 |
Seahawks
 |
A FB named Leonard caught TD passes of 43 and 62 yards against the 9ers last Sunday. No wonder Singletary lost two more inches off his hairline. |
27 |
Rams
 |
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
WHO THE FUCK IS DONNIE AVERY?!!! |
28 |
Raiders
 |
Watching this offense is like watching paint canisters being sat on by Mexicans in front of your local Duron. |
29 |
49ers
 |
Coach Singletary's rant has been well documented so let's focus on worse shit; former ESPN News talent and current Fox Sports sideline reporter Danyelle Sargent asked Mike about calling his former coach Bill Walsh with the news of his hiring. Of course Walsh is dead as is Sargent's career.
WoW. |
30 |
Chiefs
 |
Well, Larry, everyone who drafted you in fantasy is disgusted with you also. |
31 |
Bengals
 |
I'm about ready to move them below the Lions. |
32 |
Lions
 |
Why don't they just throw that shit up to Calvin about five times a game? I mean, really, could that be any worse than the shit they're running? |
