FIYA NFL
Rankings
**Week 3** |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Cowboys
 |
Secondary looked a lot better without Roy Williams back there didn't it? |
2 |
Giants
 |
I don't care what Coach Cough said, they came out against the Bengals like they were the Bengals. Good thing in the end they were the Bengals. |
3 |
Eagles
 |
What I love about Philly is that they can play a low scoring defensive game a week after a shootout and not miss a beat. Westbrook's injury worries me though. Buckhalter is about as dependable as a used furnace. |
4 |
Broncos
 |
"Brandon Marshall is the best young receiver no one knows," said an old and wise Brandon Stokleydamus early last season. They know now. |
5 |
Bills
 |
You can say it was just against the Raiders, but a 17-point fourth quarter is a 17-point fourth quarter. Trent Edwards is starting to earn his blue and white stripes. |
6 |
Titans
 |
I swear I'm gonna pull a turtle out of its shell and choke its neck if I keep hearing about Collins leading this team to victory. This shit is driving me crazier than Vince. |
7 |
Steelers
 |
Blueprint to beating the Steelers: Bottle Willie's lil ass up like a treasure map and push Ben down a lot. Success rate is about 82%. |
8 |
Packers
 |
|
9 |
Panthers
 |
The clock was bound to strike 12 on them. They could very easily be 0-3, right now. |
10 |
Patriots
 |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Rodney Harrison called Ricky Williams dirty. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He old and mad and---[Norm] and oh yeah, A FUCKING HYPOCRITE! [/McDonald] |
11 |
Redskins
 |
|
12 |
Ravens
 |
Lorenzo Neal's big neck ass is fucking people up who even think about bothering Flacco--and he enjoys it. This guy is possibly the best teammate ever. |
13 |
Chargers
 |
You think Ladanian didn't notice how much shine them Sproles was getting? I see his hurt ass was on that field, last Monday. |
14 |
Cardinals
 |
Alright, it's his third year, why is Stevie Breaston still lying about his weight? Nigga hasn't been 189 lbs since Mike Hart jumped on his back after he scored a touchdown against Notre Dame in '04. |
15 |
Buccaneers
 |
The only thing that was bigger than Jason Taylor's calf Monday morning was Brian Griese's arm. 67 passes is just unfair to a human body. |
16 |
49ers
 |
Frank Gore done lost more weight than Pharoahe Monch in the late 90's. He look nimble as hell out there. |
17 |
Bears
 |
Tough loss for the Bears. Only thing tougher is that look Coach Smith shot Charles Tillman in the locker room afterwards. What a dope. |
18 |
Jaguars
 |
Playing for their season, Jacksonville got back to running the ball and solid defense. Only took them three weeks to figure it out. |
19 |
Colts
 |
The Colts and Rams offenses are not exciting anymore. Sorry I had to break that to you. |
20 |
Vikings
 |
The Gus Bus is pressed for one more cross country trip. When it gas out, Minny is ass out. |
21 |
Seahawks
 |
With no receivers, you would think the Rams would have stacked the line up after Julius hit 80 yards in the third…nope. |
22 |
Saints
 |
Do you know what Shockey going down means? It means linebackers on the Saints schedule can now breathe a sigh of relief because Reggie's ass is solely that DB's responsibility now. |
23 |
Jets
 |
So, now the excuse is "his receivers have to get used to his style of play?" You mean the style where when you carelessly chuck it up about four times a game, and the results can vary anywhere from three big catches and one incompletion to three picks and one penalty? Is that the style you're talking about Kornheiser/The World? |
24 |
Falcons
 |
In case you didn't already know, Michael Turner is this team's most valuable player. |
25 |
Dolphins
 |
I don't mean to rub it in the face of fantasy owners who sat Ronnie Brown down last week, but you fucking lose at life. Your parents should be ashamed of you. |
26 |
Browns
 |
That'll learn you to run as fast as you can away from any football team referred to as the "sexy pick" in preseason. |
27 |
Raiders
 |
Boarding the team's charter, following the Buffalo game, Coach Lane Kiffin wanting to relax fired up his iPod and tried out the new Genius Playlist feature. After playing Gone by Kanye West, his 'Pod generated a list including I'm Leaving by The Firm and Looking At The Front Door by Main Source. |
28 |
Texans
 |
Matt Schaub, 17-37, 3 picks. Nope, I'm making it my business since they're IGNORING IT. |
29 |
Rams
 |
Arson's Fiya TV Review Of The Week: In between watching Favre tank, Monday night, I got a chance to check out the long awaited season premier of Heroes. My conclusion is that the new storylines were pretty good, but probably a little bit better when they originally ran on The 4400 two years ago. Don't even start me on the German with "magnetic capabilities." |
30 |
Lions
 |
A day after Detroit lost at San Francisco, falling to 0-3, Lions vice chairman Bill Ford essentially said he’d fire team president Matt Millen if he had the authority. Here's a thought Bill, TELL YOUR FATHER THIS! |
31 |
Bengals
 |
Lane Kiffin burned his Playlist from #27 to a disk and FedEx'd it to Marvin with a pack of Sweet Tarts. |
32 |
Chiefs
 |
…Marvin then sent a copy to Herm, who was greeted by the FedEx driver as he pulled out of his driveway. He told the delivery guy, "Nigga, I'm late for happy hour. I gotta get these hoes blinkin before my linen start wrinklin. Leave a note and bring that shit back tomorrow." |
