FIYA NFL
Rankings
**Week 13** |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Giants
 |
That loss to the Browns looks like an accidental shot in the leg of the G-Men's season…and yes, dude's membership on the dufus list is stamped for life as are the Cheddar Bob jokes. |
2 |
Titans
 |
I know a lot of people want to discount Tennessee because they lost last week, but they're still pretty damn good. Just ask Detroit. |
3 |
Buccaneers
 |
Cadillac is back, now can Tampa's running game really get back on track? |
4 |
Steelers
 |
For everything he does from scoring to blocking and knocking a muhfucka out, is Hines Ward not the most underrated receiver in NFL history? Remember he has a Super Bowl MVP. |
5 |
Falcons
 |
Anybody know if Matt Ryan is close to Kurt Warner? Reason I'm asking is because the Devil has to have something to do with this seamless transition he's made. |
6 |
Panthers
 |
|
7 |
Cowboys
 |
Dodged big bullets with only minor injuries to Barber and Ware. Ah, you thought I was going there for a minute didn’t you? You don’t know me. |
8 |
Jets
 |
Much like Texas Tech in the NCAA, we believed much too soon. |
9 |
Colts
 |
On a day where their offense struggled, Antoine Bethea's best Bob Sanders impersonation won the game for the Colts. |
10 |
Ravens
 |
I hope one spectacular catch doesn't blind the Ravens. They still need a big play receiver. |
11 |
Broncos
 |
I've seen 18-sided Rubik's Cube's that have been easier to figure out. |
12 |
Cardinals
 |
I don't care how good those receivers are, ten total carries is going to lose you games and get your QB's block knocked off. |
13 |
Vikings
 |
Them Viks sure like those 99-yard plays don’t they? |
14 |
Patriots
 |
If I had to hear Dierdorf's dumb ass say the rain had no factor in all them drops Randy and the rest of the players had at Gillette Stadium, I was on my way to rush mail an atom bomb to his house. |
15 |
Redskins
 |
Jim Zorn = The Hare
NFL Defensive Coordinators = The Tortoise |
16 |
Eagles
 |
Greatest force in sports = being scared for your job and check. |
17 |
Dolphins
 |
I wish Brian Cox was still around. Him and Joey Porter would be the most dominant thugginist tag team since Harlem Heat. |
18 |
Bears
 |
Even though he still has the ability to break one on offense, taking Hester off special teams is like neutering Max Julian. |
19 |
Saints
 |
Brees just missed another 300-yard game. Seems to be all this team cares about. |
20 |
Packers
 |
Charles mistimed that jump like his name was Tyrus. |
21 |
Texans
 |
If I was Charlie Casserly I would get "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE" airbrushed on the side of a Suburban and drive across country until people talked about it. |
22 |
Chargers
 |
LaBlamion had to call out some people when his former backup had five times as many yards as he did in a head to head match up. |
23 |
49ers
 |
My 49ers insider said Jim Haslett text'd Coach Singletary on Sunday, but he couldn’t quite make out what it read. |
24 |
Bills
 |
Had a spark when they started, but now they're just garbage. |
25 |
Jaguars
 |
Never even had a spark. |
26 |
Browns
 |
Why are they even acting like Romeo has a snowball's chance? Coors is already gathering his press conference footage. |
27 |
Raiders
 |
I know McFadden's toe wishes he would just shut it down. |
28 |
Seahawks
 |
Anyone else catch Julius Jones looking over at the Cowboys sideline during Seattle's Turkey day-ass stuffing (pause)? Only thing missing was the music from the end of an episode of The Hulk. |
29 |
Rams
 |
I know I'm beating a dead horse, but Haslett had a contract after them two wins and now he'll be lucky to not get shot getting out of St. Louis by somebody who just attended one of Nelly's parties. |
30 |
Chiefs
 |
Arson's FIYA Suicide Flight Deals: Spirit Airlines has really cheap flights starting as low as $39 if you're willing to deal with a 60-40 mortality rate and hold your luggage in you lap.
You're welcome travelers ;) |
31 |
Bengals
 |
The most exciting moment of Cinci's steel-toe tail kicking on Sunday was Carson's little brother getting snaps. It's gotten that bad. |
32 |
Lions
 |
I've got a real bad feeling Minnesota is about to fuck it up for us pessimists. |
