FIYA NFL Rankings
**Week 1** |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Patriots
 |
A great showing, no doubt, but let's just put the Jets win in perspective. They beat the shit out of them in the playoffs 37-16, last year. (does this mean they cheated last year too?)
Having said that, how many TD's do you think Moss will score this year? I say somewhere between 75 and 100. |
2 |
Chargers
 |
The Pats match up, next week, is as big a gift as any football fan could ask for. When I found out this game would be played the other day, I think I made a spot in the front of my pants. |
3 |
Colts
 |
Well, maybe Jason David was the weak link to the defense. Honestly though, I will hold off on calling them a great defense until they play a group of veteran receivers. That defensive backfield is just too young to be as good as they looked, last Thursday. |
4 |
Bengals
 |
The funniest thing about Chad's lackluster TD celebration was how enormous the jacket was. Those shoulders were big as shit. It must have taken an extended family of Asians at the dry cleaners to piece that monstrosity together. |
5 |
Panthers
 |
…as if Steve Smith needed any incentive to run through that St. Louis secondary like a chocolate shake. |
6 |
Broncos
 |
Was this a football-Freudian slip? Let's just have a looky, next week. |
7 |
Cowboys
 |
The Dallas offense looked like a fine tuned machine. The defense looked like Roy Williams was fucking up, as usual. |
8 |
Seahawks
 |
Do you realize how fulla shit Shawn Alexander was last year? He tried to say God healed him. Hahahahahahaa, that nigga's foot was cracked. CRACKED! |
9 |
Steelers
 |
Oh God, Hines Ward is dancing again. Somebody restrain his ass. |
10 |
Bears
 |
What's sad is that when the Chargers went up 7-3, everyone knew unless the Bears scored on defense, that game was over. |
11 |
Saints
 |
I'm not giving up on the Saints, but I do believe losing Joe Horn will make a bigger difference to that receiving corp than I first thought. That guy was a leader to that team, not just the community. |
12 |
Eagles
 |
Yes, I still have the Eagles ranked above the Packers, but if it makes you feel any better, I have Green Bay ranked above J.R. Reed. |
13 |
Ravens
 |
Steve looked creaky as shit out there. They need to eat that extension they gave Boller and sign Leftwich like they were supposed to, on that draft day. |
14 |
Packers
 |
Congrats Brett, the defense carried you to your record tying win. |
15 |
49ers
 |
The win against Zona was the kind of game that the 9ers had no chance of winning two years ago. Maybe suits don't suck. |
16 |
Cardinals
 |
Goddamn! How come no one told me every receiver from the Cards had 20 to 22 yards receiving? I almost went blind looking at that box score. |
17 |
Texans
 |
Lost in the hype of the big days by Moss and T.O. was Andre Johnson absolutely doing the Cha Cha Slide on the Chiefs secondary…sorry, but I just had to reference that shit. When I heard it playing on that McDonalds commercial I felt my stomach drop. |
18 |
Lions
 |
Calvin Johnson has already done more than Mike Williams and Charles Rogers. Good pick, Fat Matt. |
19 |
Redskins
 |
Since no one else has the nuts to ask his old ass, lemme be the first to confront coach and ask him why the fuck he's switching Joe Gibbs Racing to Toyota in '08. It's a more peculiar move than kicking a 40-yard field goal on 1st down. |
20 |
Giants
 |
The brass in the Giants front office have sent the commissioner a petition to never have the franchise play a game on Sunday night again. In one preseason and one regular season appearance this year, New York has lost a total of 38 players to injury. Something just isn't right. |
21 |
Titans
 |
Chris Brown not only dominated the football field, last Sunday, but he then turned around and gave a breath taking performance at the VMA's, the very same night. |
22 |
Jaguars
 |
Down three in the fourth; That's a win for Byron…I'm just saying. |
23 |
Vikings
 |
I'd really like to move them higher, but it was only the Falcons. |
24 |
Jets
 |
Tell me why Pennington's play, while obviously injured, has been characterized as "resilient," while McNair's was "selfish" and "costing of the game?" |
25 |
Rams
 |
Steve Jax is still one of my favorite players in the league, but with Orlando Pace going down, I'm just saying I'm a bit more at ease that I didn't draft him to my fantasy team. |
26 |
Bills
 |
On a serious note, our prayers go out to Kevin Everett. |
27 |
Buccaneers
 |
I'm beginning to think it's in Joey Galloway's contract with God that he catch a bomb every week. |
28 |
Dolphins
 |
Jumping four spots after a loss; it just shows you how shitty the worst of the worst is in the NFL. |
29 |
Chiefs
 |
Tell the truth, after watching Herm on that HBO Hard Knocks shit, he had you thinking this team would be somewhat competitive. C'mon, you picked them over Houston. That guy is more convincing than Keanu Reeves in front of that Jury in The Devil's Advocate. |
30 |
Raiders
 |
Who else remembers Ron Curry fresh off the football season making the switch to the UNC basketball team? His jumper was broke and he had problems locating the range on lay-ups. Goddamn, he was strong as shit. |
31 |
Browns
 |
Arson's Fiya Observation Of The Week: Oh yeah, I'm back with my observation for the week. Fuck I look like acting like I'm interested in sorry teams? Anyway, I like the Merriman-Jackson Nike commercial as much as the next guy, but between that and the IPod Nano joint being ran more than Eddie George in the 90's, I'm thinking about Tivo'n them games, next Sunday, just so I can skip the commercials.
Overkill. |
32 |
Falcons
 |
This team will push hard for my Fiya Observation Of The Week, all season. |
