FIYA NFL Rankings
**Week 12** |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Chargers
 |
They won off a cheat, but, whatever. |
2 |
Colts
 |
I'm pretty shocked Manning allowed Addai to get all those touchdowns. He never let Edge do that type of stuff. |
3 |
Ravens
 |
Here we are, five years later and the black QB Super Bowl burden still looms over McNair's nappy ass head. |
4 |
Patriots
 |
Former G.L.O.W. wrestling star, Suzy Spirit immediately turned off her television after witnessing Junior Seau's arm dangling injury. She said she had never seen anything like it. |
5 |
Bears
 |
Rex Grossman is gonna drive Lovie Smith to drink. But, that's not necessarily a bad idea, because there's a good chance he'll run into Brian Greise at a bar and start him the following week. |
6 |
Chiefs
 |
Damn, when's the last time you heard Dante Hall's name? |
7 |
Cowboys
 |
Man, Tony Romo is playing like his grandmother-wha? Michael Irvin already said that? Last week? Where the hell was I? Well, I don't listen to the radio, so how the fuck would I know?...Look, let's just drop it. Fine! |
8 |
Broncos
 |
Only reason they don't drop any further is because the Cutler move has finally been made. |
9 |
Saints
 |
Obviously, Drew Brees doesn't care which receiver he's throwing to, as long as one of them can secure his trip to Hawaii. |
10 |
Bengals
 |
Cinci really does their thing when they play teams they should beat don't they? Aye, that's not a shot at them by any means. Just look at some of these losses, the supposed "good teams" have. |
11 |
Seahawks
 |
That was the quietest 200 yards I've ever witnessed in my life. |
12 |
Panthers
 |
Up and down, up and down, wobble-left, right, fall...up and down. Watching Carolina's season is like monitoring a handicap kid's see-saw ride. |
13 |
Jaguars
 |
This up and down Carolina like act ain't gonna cut it in the AFC. |
14 |
Giants
 |
See why Tiki wants to get as far away from these scrubs as possible, now? |
15 |
Jets
 |
As long as the crappy teams keep showing up, the Jets have no problem in beating them. That's for sure. |
16 |
Bills
 |
Does Miami produce anything other than running backs and return-men that can occasionally run routes? |
17 |
Dolphins
 |
Gotta give it up to how classy Joey Harrington is. Lord knows if that was me, I would have driven to Dre Bly's house after that game, pulled my dick out and peed on his fried turkey. |
18 |
Rams
 |
Had Steven Jackson been balling like this his rookie year, the greatest show on turf might still be rockin. |
19 |
Vikings
 |
Minne finally stopped the bleeding, but c'mon, we all know they're done. |
20 |
49ers
 |
Nah, for real, Frank Gore might be my MVP. They win this division and how can he not be? |
21 |
Falcons
 |
Well, if I ran for a buck-66 and niggas were dropping the ball, then I got booed, I'd do more than give the finger, I'd add a DX chop, too. |
22 |
Eagles
 |
Their run defense has stunk worse than a public bathroom. |
23 |
Titans
 |
*listens to tape from the past January on how Vince did the impossible*
*listens to all the current excuses for how Vince has done the impossible twice*
*waits for prognosticators to acknowledge Young is in the building and get it right*
*does that Hot FIYA Gerald LeVert (R.I.P.) Rope-A-Dope Style* |
24 |
Steelers
 |
That chin's act has gotten old. It's about time he gracefully bows out. |
25 |
Redskins
 |
So, if Gibbs does care about black people then why has this boy been holding a clipboard for two years, huh? You answer me that, and I'll let it go.I got all week out this mug. I'm here. |
26 |
Packers
 |
The offense only converted 18 turnovers into a handful of points, but so what, Favre had fun out there, while keeping his streak alive and that's what really matters, right? |
27 |
Buccaneers
 |
Wasn't this supposed to be Mark Clayton's break out year? |
28 |
Browns
 |
Arson's Fiya Dream Observation of the Week: Hanna-Barbera should have done more on the old Smurfs cartoon with the Alchemist Smurf character. How fuckin raw is that name to just waste on one episode? As legend has it, dude was tryna work with Papa Smurf, get his apprentice on, if you will, but he was fakin, so Alch snuck into Gargamel's lair (gangsta) and stole a magic spell. Of course it was all fucked up and he turned himself into a reptile...yadda, yadda his blue hue niggas came through and he got his swagger back. But, thats it. I'm very disappointed 'Barbera Studios didn't see the ambition in the young man's heart and give him more shine. He was That Smurf. |
29 |
Texans
 |
25 yards rushing as a team? I'd throw my offensive line down the abyss in front of Castle Greyskull if they came up with such a piss poor effort, again. |
30 |
Raiders
 |
How about just throwing Randy a few jump balls? What's it gonna hurt? |
31 |
Cardinals
 |
*still Rope-A-Dope Styling it* |
32 |
Lions
 |
I've heard through the grapevine that Matt Millen may finally get the axe. If it happens before Christmas, Lions fans really have nothing else to ask for from ol' Saint Nic. |
