FIYA NBA
Rankings #4 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Lakers
 |
Bynum hasn't exploded yet, but he's been solid. That might be all they need, actually. |
2 |
Celtics
 |
So the league is investigating KG's shenanigans, resulting from him recently screaming obscenities in the faces of other players. Asked to comment, Tim Duncan said, "Wait...all I had to do was be a white point guard for someone to do something about that?" |
3 |
Suns
 |
Matt Barnes is just bringing that Bruce Bowen corner three and defense that they thought he would. |
4 |
Rockets
 |
Wasn't Luther Head supposed to be good? |
5 |
Pistons
 |
Iverson better get his shit together. His legacy is on the line. He should get scared like KG did. If he wins, him and his thug ass friends can have them some funny NBA2K commercials, too. |
6 |
Magic
 |
They're gonna have to win a title with Lewis to justify that money. That money could've signed two really good players. |
7 |
Jazz
 |
The Lightskinned Movement took a serious hit last week, as darkskinned dudes and Eastern Europeans led the Jazz to wins, without Deron and Booz. |
8 |
Hawks
 |
It took a while, but they now know that they need Josh Smith. |
9 |
Raptors
 |
I think people gave up on that I-talian too soon. He's improving really fast. |
10 |
Hornets
 |
If we went by the Nash Rule, he'd be the runaway pick for MVP. But, I think they're gonna stop doing that. |
11 |
Spurs
 |
It's amazing how strong Duncan is, considering he has no muscle definition. |
12 |
Nuggets
 |
JR Smith isn't having quite the breakout year that some of us were expecting. Matter of fact, he's looked downright sorry at times. |
13 |
Cavs
 |
Okay, he's really starting to look like an unselfish Teen Wolf out there. He's so much stronger and faster than everyone. It's sickening. |
14 |
Knicks
 |
I don't think even Charles Xavier himself could teach Lil' Nate how to focus his powers more constructively. |
15 |
Heat
 |
I just knew Beas would be getting 15 shots per game. But, it makes sense for Wade to take 30, in order for them to win. |
16 |
76ers
 |
Andre Miller is now the 5th best player on the team. That means they're good. |
17 |
Bulls
 |
|
18 |
Nets
 |
Vince's game-winning reverse slam on the Raptors was funnier than any fake commercial Chris Bosh can come up with this year. |
19 |
Blazers
 |
Greg Oden playing and lookin like a 20 year vet. I'm still wondering why they won't play Bayless more. |
20 |
Mavs
 |
How did Kidd's jumper get worse with age? |
21 |
Pacers
 |
Do I need to start a DunnyGotPaid routine here? He's being pretty blatant about this. |
22 |
Bucks
 |
First Yi, now Joe Alexander? Charlie, people flat out do not like you. |
23 |
Warriors
 |
Jamal is in for a treat. He going to a team FULLA ballhogs and dribblers. Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma cham. |
24 |
Timberwolves
 |
That benching done did Foye's ass some good. It's been a long time since I've seen a benching actually work, too. |
25 |
Kings
 |
That boy Jason Thompson might have the overbite of a German Sheppard, but he can damn well play some ball. |
26 |
Clippers
 |
They'll tell you different, but there's no reason for them to have Camby and Kaman playing together. It just doesn't make sense. |
27 |
Grizzlies
 |
Gasol and Mayo getting a lotta pub, but Arthur is a damn beast. Wait until he gets some muscle on him. |
28 |
Bobcats
 |
Emeka is the only dependable player on this team. |
29 |
Thunder
 |
If PJ gets another job before Avery Johnson, we're gonna need a scientific confirmation that Jesus was black to make up for that kinda injustice, because leading one country just aint enough. |
30 |
Wizards
 |
Well, at least Etan has his health. |
