FIYA NBA
Rankings #2 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Lakers
 |
I'm currently watching Kobe make all the bitch in Tracy McGrady come out. It's like an exorcism for a punk ass bitch ass pussy ass demon inside McGrady's body. |
2 |
Jazz
 |
Commenting on the loss to the Knicks, Carlos Boozer stated, "What can I say? We got 'gibled." What's ''gibled" you say? It's the act of being dominated by Chris "Duhongibles" Duhon and his Maxwell Smart-like ability to get the job done, no matter how inept he looks doing it. |
3 |
Hornets
 |
Six straight 20-10 games? That boy good like coming home at 4:27 A.M. Saturday, making a peppered turkey sandwich and turning on the TV to find Emmanuel Goes to Cannes is playing. |
4 |
Celtics
 |
I wish they could've figured out a way to keep Al Jefferson. It's a little masochistic, but by the fourth title I'd be over it. |
5 |
Suns
 |
Shaq done found the fountain of youth. It didn't make him any younger, it just curbed his appetite. |
6 |
Hawks
 |
Well, I know one thing: they don't miss Josh Childress. |
7 |
Raptors
 |
J.O. is deferring to Bosh a bit too much. |
8 |
Rockets
 |
I can't lie, they do look tougher with Ron Ron. |
9 |
Pistons
 |
Uh-oh. They're losing with AI and Stuckey is starting to worry about his second contract. This can't be happening again. |
10 |
Magic
 |
Dwight Howard is a big ass man. He is owning these dudes. |
11 |
Cavs
 |
I swear LeBron is jumping even higher these days. |
12 |
Knicks
 |
Watching the ambivalence of white Knick fans toward Wilson Chandler replacing Lee is the funniest shit in the world. The only one who is with it is Mike Rappaport. Matt Modine be lookin' mad like somebody just told him they loved him in Gross Anatomy. |
13 |
76ers
 |
What happened to the Dre Miller that lead the league in assists? He got that check and put his shit in neutral for the last six years. |
14 |
Spurs
 |
If you aint pick up Roger Mason Jr. yet, it's too late. |
15 |
Nuggets
 |
On the other hand, Chauncey makin them look good. |
16 |
Blazers
 |
Too much talent. Time to trade for a vet and get a leader y'all. |
17 |
Mavs
 |
Ewwwwww. Slow start. Like an old Ford. |
18 |
Heat
 |
What do Dwayne Wade and the Green Monster scoreboard operator have in common? They be putting up big numbers. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?! |
19 |
Pacers
 |
TJ is a lost cause. I thought he had greatness written all over him. Now, he can still get a big ass tattoo with "GREATNESS" on his arm somewhere, but he aint never gonna be a great player. |
20 |
Bucks
 |
Joe Alexander got some tick, y'all. Aint nuffin' wrong with that. |
21 |
Bulls
 |
Tyrus is easily the dumbest player since Donnell Harvey. |
22 |
Warriors
 |
Corey got the worst hamstrings of any athlete in the post-Gary Clark era. |
23 |
Nets
 |
Devin Harris is really coming into his own. |
24 |
Thunder
 |
I know damn well Durant's gonna be scoring more than this. |
25 |
Timberwolves
 |
|
26 |
Kings
 |
Why don't they start Jason Thompson? This is bullshit. |
27 |
Clippers
 |
Eric Gordon should just punch Dunleavy in the face. |
28 |
Grizzlies
 |
Mayo is better than whichever rookie guard you think he aint better than. |
29 |
Bobcats
 |
Is Jordan gonna play the race card when Bob Johnson fires his ass, too? |
30 |
Wizards
 |
Eddie Jordan just don't wanna be fired before the big party on Jan. 20. Hell, no nigga in DC does. Can't go to that joint without a job. |
