FIYA NBA
Rankings
**PLAYOFF PREVIEW
EDITION: Round 1** |
Team
Match Up |
FIYA Analysis |
Boston (1)

vs
Atlanta
(8)
|
Fiya
Matchup: NBA Fans vs. Boredom |
Team
Sparks: Rajon Rondo |
Series
Fiya Starter(s): Ray, Kevin and Paul |
Series
Fiya Moment: Josh Smith dunking on Kendrick Perkins and going apeshit, with five minutes to go and his team trailing by 18. |
|
Pick: Ugh! |
Detroit (2)

vs
Philadelphia (7)
|
Fiya
Matchup: Stuckey vs. Mothra, Megalon and Hedorah. |
Team
Sparks: Stuckey |
Series
Fiya Starter(s): Does Stuckey start? |
Series
Fiya Moment: Stuckey scoring 12 points in a row in Game 3 and ‘Sheed, teeth out and frantically waving a towel, cheering him from the bench. |
Dat ‘Nalysis: Iggy isn’t good enough to carry his young team against the might Pistons. Plus, the Pistons got Stuckey.
|
Pick: Stuckey. |
Orlando (3)

vs
Toronto(6)

|
Fiya
Matchup: TJ Ford vs. his jumper |
Team
Sparks: Spanish speaking reserve point guards |
Series
Fiya Starter(s): Superman, Bosh, Turkeydo |
Series
Fiya Moment: The look in Howard’s eyes when he realizes he’ll never win with Jameer Nelson. |
Dat ‘Nalysis: It’s really comes down to who decides to disappoint more, Jameer or Bargnani. I’m gonna put my money on Jameer, despite him showing up big in the first game.
|
Pick: Raptors in 7. |
Cleveland (4)

vs
Washington (5)
|
Fiya
Matchup: LeBron Vs. Deshawn Stevenson’s big ass mouth |
Team
Sparks: Gilbert, Antonio Daniels and Gloria James |
Series
Fiya Starter(s): Antawn, Caron and LeBron |
Series
Fiya Moment: Gilbert not coming through in the clutch and then blaming it on being rusty, as if he hasn’t choked when completely healthy. |
Dat ‘Nalysis: LeBron is gonna bull his way to the damn cup over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, and there’s nothing the Wizards can do to stop him.
|
Pick: Eddie Jordan gonna fuck around and get fired. |
Los Angeles (1)

vs
Denver (8)

|
Fiya
Matchup: Kobe on A.I. |
Team
Sparks: Lamar, Linas, J.R. |
Series
Fiya Starter(s): Kobe, Pau, A.I., Melo |
Series
Fiya Moment: Kobe smirking then walking past A.I. without so much as acknowledging him on his way to that podium, bringing back memories of '01 for Bubba...save the Shaq excuse. |
Dat ‘Nalysis: Sure Denver has all kind of talent, but there's a reason they a) had to go out and get Anthony Carter and b) are the worst defensive team in the galaxy; the answers are a) Iverson refuses to denounce his All-Teen Wolf Team ways and b) playing team defense don't get bitches. Kobe, Lamar and Pau's stat lines are gonna look chunkier than Arsenio Hall on the set of a bad music video parody.
|
Pick: Lakers in 5. |
New Orleans (2)

vs
Dallas
(7)

|
Fiya
Matchup: Well, isn’t it fucking obvious? |
Team
Sparks: Jason Terry and Bonzi Wells |
Series
Fiya Starter(s): CP3, Dirk, Kidd, Josh, Peja and West |
Series
Fiya Moment: Chris Paul’s running floater in the closing seconds of Game 6 to put his team up 5 with a minute left. |
Dat ‘Nalysis: Chris Paul is built for this here. Dirk is not. Jason Kidd is two years removed from being able to handle Paul. Then, for Dallas, there’s the problem of David West and his 15 footer, along with Tyson Chandler’s insane activity. Dallas’ window is closed.
|
Pick: Hornets in 6. |
San Antonio (3)

vs
Phoenix (6)

|
Fiya
Matchup: Amare vs. Timmy 5000 |
Team
Sparks: Barbosa and Manu |
Series
Fiya Starter(s): Nash, Shaq, Parker, Timmy 5K, Amare |
Series
Fiya Moment: As usual, Timmy will bank in an 18 footer from the wing to close out the series. |
Dat ‘Nalysis: Before Game 1, I was gonna pick the Suns, but I think D’Antoni is a moron. His sub patterns are horrible and he needs to reign Nash in a little and go to Shaq a bit more. Shaq can get the ball to Amare much easier than Nash can. The Suns can only win this series if Amare utterly destroys the Spurs and he didn’t quit get there in that first game and I don’t think he’ll ever get to that point in this series.
|
Pick: Spurs in 6. (I hope I’m wrong) |
Houston (4)

vs
Utah (5)
|
Fiya
Matchup: T-Mac v. Round 1 |
Team
Sparks: Bamma Ass Millsap and Carl Landry…what a country ass showdown. |
Series
Fiya Starter(s): Booz, Deron, AK-47, Memo and Poor Mac. |
Series
Fiya Moment: The cameraman providing a glimpse of Mac’s lowered head in the background, as Deron sinks the series-winning free throws in Game 5. |
Dat ‘Nalysis: Poor Mac. Damn, this is gonna suck.
|
Pick: Jazz in 5. |