FIYA NBA
Rankings #8 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Celtics
 |
I've been getting a lot of angry e-mails from people upset by me actively rooting for injuries. Some have wished death on me, as they've explain what a horrible person I am. The irony makes me sad. Human beings are terrible. That's all. |
2 |
Spurs
 |
There's no way Parker's marriage to Longoria isn't a distraction. |
3 |
Suns
 |
Grant Hill's recent attempt at locker room humor offended several female journalists and made many of his teammates uncomfortable. Hill was asked if he had found the Fountain of Youth and he answered, "Yup, it's between Tamia's legs and I be swimming' in it every night, ya heard?" Only Amare laughed. Fuckin' Amare, man. |
4 |
Pistons
 |
You know who'd look fucked up with hair? Chauncey. That shit would look faker than a Sam Jackson hair piece. |
5 |
Blazers
 |
Brandon Roy got one of them "championship" games, don't he? You just know a nigga like that when you see him. Roy, Paul, Bron and Wade do not play the game like, say, Iverson. I'm sorry, but it's true. |
6 |
Lakers
 |
Phil Jackson and his staff are not being given enough credit for molding Bynum into a force. Okay, Mitch drafted him and decided not to trade him, but Bynum would probably be content getting paid and getting puss if Phil and Kobe didn't push him so hard. Happens to lots of young players. |
7 |
Jazz
 |
I dunno about a #1 pick, but getting Korver was a damn smart move. They needed a marksman. Deron's assists will go up by 1.5. |
8 |
Hornets
 |
Stop lying to yourself. He's the best PG in the league. |
9 |
Mavs
 |
Like BJ Armstrong before him, Devin Harris is going to look 20 years-old for the next 20 years. |
10 |
Warriors
 |
Nothing new with that The Stat Padders. |
11 |
Magic
 |
Howard is going to absolutely destroy that career rebounding record. |
12 |
Nuggets
 |
AI And Melo's Slam cover is sure to be a best seller among black women 18-35.and gay black men 18-55. |
13 |
Raptors
 |
Barnagni is looking like a big ass weak link right now.like Italy during WWII. |
14 |
Pacers
 |
|
15 |
Rockets
 |
They are going to trade McGrady. I pray Zeke doesn't give up that first rounder for him. |
16 |
Hawks
 |
Oddly enough, they've been playing much better since Shelden got jacked. |
17 |
Wizards
 |
No matter what anyone says, this team's play is an indictment of Gilbert Arenas' leadership and game. |
18 |
Cavs
 |
Is anyone still shocked Z is playing at such a high level? |
19 |
Nets
 |
*People's eyebrow at Vince taking off from under the rim and only getting up high enough for a big ass layup*
That day is here. Them legs are dying. |
20 |
Bobcats
 |
A pig in shit or Jason Richardson as the #1 option of a lottery team: Who's happier? |
21 |
Bulls
 |
Back to the bench, Ben. Meanwhile, Hinrich gets to be as sorry as he wants to be. |
22 |
Bucks
 |
More Gadzuric means more wins.for laughter. |
23 |
Clippers
 |
I never thought I'd say this, but Kaman looks drunker and more racist than Rik Smits. |
24 |
Sixers
 |
If I had to pick one athlete to win a MMA match against any opponent, I'd pick Reggie Evans. |
25 |
Kings
 |
Eerily quiet on the Ron Ron front these days..like secret serial killer quiet. |
26 |
Grizzlies
 |
Darko needs to just focus on averaging a double double and praying that Iverson plays long enough to keep Melo from winning anything. |
27 |
Heat
 |
Pat Riley isn't the kind of man to rest on a title won two seasons ago. He's gonna make a move. |
28 |
Sonics
 |
Did anyone else see Durant jam his finger? Didn't that big nigga look 11 years-old? |
29 |
Knicks
 |
Steph was last seen riding around Coney Island in the passenger seat of Roger Guenveur Smith's convertible sobbing uncontrollably. |
30 |
T-Wolves
 |
Nice dunk, Gerald. We see your sorry ass. |
