FIYA NBA
Rankings #4 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Spurs
 |
|
2 |
Suns
 |
The lack of low post scoring (and defense) is simply off-putting. I would be shocked if they won a title with this style of play. |
3 |
Magic
 |
The best team in the East just got better, with the return of short shooter JJ Redick.
(I used the Make 'Em Mad Spread gun on a lot of readers, just now.) |
4 |
Celtics
 |
When it's all said and done, Doc will be blamed. |
5 |
Jazz
 |
Powerful Prediction: AK will put up a quadruple-double this season. |
6 |
Hornets
 |
Paul has clearly become the heir to Zeke's Best Little Man Throne. |
7 |
Mavs
 |
I think Avery is doing a smart thing here by forgoing the fast start. It just doesn't work. |
8 |
Pistons
 |
Even though he has a good team, you know Flip is a little jealous he doesn't get to coach Garnett with some talent around him. |
9 |
Nuggets
 |
I still can't believe George Karl has managed to turn Kleiza's big bruising ass into a 2/3. It looks disgusting. |
10 |
Lakers
 |
You mean to tell me not one of their young PGs has got the goods? |
11 |
Cavs
 |
After watching the Cavs lose three games in a row without LeBron, I spoke with with noted mathetmatician Arlie Peters and asked him to predict how many games Cleveland could win without James this year. Arlie answered: "Well, if you extrapolate from the...none, nigga. None." |
12 |
Raptors
 |
They are too injured to string together wins right now. |
13 |
Warriors
 |
What do Monta Ellis, Patrick O'Bryant and Brandan Wright have in common? They all prove Mullin shouldn't draft big men. |
14 |
Rockets
 |
Damn, they're fading faster than Chuck Person's barber circa 1989. |
15 |
Pacers
 |
Mike Dunleavy says they're a better team when he gets more touches. I thought hard for a joke here, but the truth is funnier: He's absolutely right. |
16 |
Nets
 |
Having two Euro's and a Collins brother as their key frontcourt players has finally started to catch up with them. |
17 |
Wizards
 |
They're better without Gilbert the way prostitutes are better without teeth; Even though he gets in the way, they're just more attractive with him. But, they're still worthless hoes. |
18 |
Bobcats
 |
Emeka better be happy that Dwight Howard is so good that no one even bothers comparing them anymore. |
19 |
Clippers
 |
Shit, they might actually hang in there long enough for Elton "Rescue Dawn flopped" Brand to get them into the playoffs. |
20 |
Hawks
 |
Odds that Josh Childress actually hangs with his teammates off the court? The World's Economy to 1. |
21 |
Kings
 |
The biggest impact Shareef has had on the game of basketball is ruining Todd Bozeman's coaching career. |
22 |
Knicks
 |
The worst part about the loss to the Celtics? Listening to Marv "Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down" Albert talk about sexual harassment. That cross-dressing fuck better be quiet. |
23 |
Bucks
 |
Andrew Bogut is still young and I actually like his game, but has to become consistent at some point. |
24 |
Heat
 |
If it wasn't for all the D-Wade commercials, I'd swear that championship never happened. It aint like they just lose. They get blown out in every loss. |
25 |
Grizzlies
 |
Asked why top pick Mike Conley Jr. hasn't cracked the rotation, coach Marc Ivaroni answered, "It's his mustache. I can't take it and him seriously." |
26 |
Blazers
 |
I really wish Yahoo sports would remove Bo Outlaw's fucking picture from Travis Outlaw's profile during games. It's been a month. <<click here>> |
27 |
Bulls
 |
Ben Gordon wants his money...hahahahahaha...he tryna play hard now...LMAO!!! He scared...LMAO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! |
28 |
76ers
 |
Will someone put Andre Miller out of his misery? I swear he looks desperate like Richard Pryor did in Jo Jo Dancer before he set himself ablaze. |
29 |
T-Wolves
 |
Most asked question in Minnesota: "What the fuck did we get Gerald Green for?" |
30 |
Sonics
 |
Durant's prodigious ballhoggin' finally produced a 30+ night. |
