FiyaStarter.com - Linwood Jenkins

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Panthers receiver, rumored character
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--Standing 6-4, 220 pounds, Linwood was the star center for Mary McLeod Bethune High School in Bucktown, Alabama, a small community of approximately 250 African-Americans that is located right outside of Adulasia. According to the school’s official scorekeeper, Linwood’s uncle, Sylvester, Linwood averaged 76 points, 48 rebounds and 43 blocks, 34 steals and 2 assists a game during his senior season. “The boy just had a gift. People say he only dominated like he did because he was four inches taller than the next tallest kid, but that ain’t have nothing to do with it. He could stand still and dunk that ball from the free throw line. He shot 98% percent from the line because of that.” Sylvester adds that Linwood wasn’t selected to play in the 1982, where he would have faced Cheese Eyes McDonald’s All-American game “because of racism.”

NBA '07 FIYA Rankings - #22
by: Linwood Jenkins, for Sports

FIYA NBA Rankings #22
Rank	Team	FIYA Analysis
1	Celtics	No joke: I gotta give Ainge credit for Leon Powe. He tries really hard every game.
2	Pistons	I cannot wait to see Sheed's eyes widen and teeth protrude for the next two months, after he's whistled for fouls he did and didn't commit. Then, he's gonna top it off with that bad ass bighead lil' black boy walk. You know the one I'm talking about, with the lip smack and "Man, I aint even do nuffin!" disdain for authority? I swear that thing should be a dance, because so many niggas know how to do it. Just set it to music.
3	Lakers	Asked what an NBA title would mean to him, Pau Gasol replied, "Well, I think when I fly to Ibiza this summer, maybe a title would help me get a few more woman to participate in a coked-out orgy with me. So, other than a bit more sex, I dunno."
4	Hornets	Um, I think Chris Paul lost the MVP last week. Deron got at him. Then, he lost to Kobe. Well, he still got the best shape-up. NOPE, MATT BARNES, YOU DON'T EVEN START!!! SHUT UP!!!
5	Spurs	Timmy knees looked hot as hell against the Lakers. He aint wanna be bothered.LMAO!!! He getting old.hahahahahaha.
6	Suns	When your hopes rest on Boris Diaw showing up every night, I think you're pretty much fucked.
7	Jazz	How come every time I look at Ronnie Brewer, I think John Amos can't be far behind, shouting "Junior, fill the damn lane!!!"
8	Rockets	T-Mac is the only NBA superstar not looking forward to the playoffs. Can you blame him?
9	Mavs	Has anyone ever seen Dirk miss a dunk? I haven't. I'm asking because that dude barely makes it to the rim each time he attempts to dunk.
10	Nuggets	I see Karl has rediscovered the magic of JR Smith just in time to make the playoffs.
11	Magic	13-17? I will take that every night, Dwight. Good work, big boy.
12	Warriors	If The Big Boss Ricky Ross let Baron wear his chain, I bet you no one would blink.
13	Raptors	After watching little sister Candace continue being more famous and successful than him, Anthony told reporters, "Well, I'm proud of my sister, but she and Shelden gonna have some really tall ugly ass kids. So, I'mma win that battle."
14	Cavs	LeBron makes me tired when I watch him. Young fella is working too hard.
15	Wizards	Angered by his declining appeal in DC, Gilbert Arenas expressed his doubt that Alexander Ovechkin has surpassed him as the city's favorite athlete. Speaking to a stunned crowd of reporters, an agitated Arenas rambled, "Put it like this: I can fuck black, white, brown.whatever! I'm dicking down all types of bitches. Can he say the same? Aint no sistas gonna fuck that dude, man. He can't even fuck some white girls I fuck. So, how can you say he's more popular than me?"
16	76ers	Andre Miller just oughtta stay in Philly.
17	Pacers	If I had to guess, I'd say Marquis Daniels is one of the dozen or so guys in the league who still eats pickled pig feet.
18	Hawks	Sad but legit question: Will Acie Law have a better career than Acie Earl.
19	Nets	Determined to put an end to rumors that he's gay, Richard Jefferson revealed that he's a woman. Said RJ: "How can I be gay if I like men? I'm supposed to like men. It doesn't even make sense. Are people that narrow-minded?"
20	Blazers	Damn, I finally figured out what Greg Oden's fucked up fauxhawk looked like. You know them Roman soldier helmets? Them joints. I could not get that damn joke together a month ago. SHIT!
21	Bulls	He aint been getting Noah love all season, so don't try to Joakim now. asshole smile
22	Bobcats	Commenting on his rehab, an upbeat Sean May stated, "Food."
23	Bucks	Mo Williams is ruining some poor guy's life. I'm glad I saw this coming and picked up Arenas.
24	Kings	Quincy Douby got that black Arab look about him. I know he be getting dominated at the Airport.
25	Clippers	Elton's just picking up where he left off. I'm interested to see what he does this offseason.
26	Knicks	If anyone needs a reality show it's Nate Robinson and Eddy Curry. Damn, I know Nate would be carrying the shit out that big ass dude.
27	Sonics	Durant and Green are gonna be some real ass-kickers.
28	Grizzlies	Much like Ralph Wiggum, Mike Conley is learnding.
29	T-Wolves	I know Foye aint try to have some sense after I dropped him in like five leagues? I hate this bugged eyed lil bamma.
30	Heat	D-Wade aint doing shit but planning him some parties for Niggafest next month. Well, call me Mike McDonald, D-Dub, 'cause YAMO BE THERE!

FiyaStarter's Top 10 Rookie Watch

Kevin Durant
(20.0 PPG 4.2 RPG): Despite all the attempts to take it from him, it’s his award.
Back off, roach eyes, got this.

Al Horford
(10.2 PPG 9.6 RPG): …and that’s no knock on Al, because he’s had a great season,
although that lack of a double-double average has pissed me the fuck off to no end.

Luis Scola
(10.1 PPG 6.1 RPG): Would I be wrong if I said he’s more dependable than
T-Mac in that you know what to expect out of him?

Al Thornton
(12.7 PPG 4.5 RPG): Countdown to Al’s first blunt sparked of the off-season…yeah right.

Jamario Moon
(8.7 PPG 6.2 RPG): His rebounding is gonna be crucial in the playoffs, because
Toronto’s guards are hot and cold like a public pool’s shower.

Jeff Green
(10.3 PPG 4.6 RPG): Something tells me Jeff will not make it to his second
contract on this team. The draft will tell exactly just how the roster is shaping up.

Thaddeus Young
(8.1 PPG 4.2 RPG): Outside of Scola, Thad Dogg is probably the hottest rookie,
going into the playoffs.

Rodney Stuckey
(7.4 PPG 2.2 APG): The moment we’ve all been waiting for, y’all.
Yup, Stuckey time, Bitches.

Joakim Noah
(6.4 PPG 5.6 RPG): The nigga is so gully it’s worn off on slow ass Tyrus.

Juan Carolos Navarro
(10.9 PPG 2.5 RPG): Like everyone else in the NBA a game against Miami
helped him pad, to stay on a list.