FIYA NBA
Rankings #21 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Celtics
 |
When they are eliminated, the excuses will flow like the blood on the streets of ancient Rome. |
2 |
Pistons
 |
Tayshaun Prince is the most undervalued starter in the league. |
3 |
Spurs
 |
It's almost Horry Time, y'all. |
4 |
Hornets
 |
David West and that damn bullion cube on his chin are the most annoying thing in basketball, right now. |
5 |
Jazz
 |
Okur been tryna dunk on people lately. What's that all about? |
6 |
Lakers
 |
It would be nice if Bynum could play the last week of the season. You can't miss a few months and just pop back in for the playoffs without making things weird for everyone. |
7 |
Suns
 |
If Nash is going to have any claim to the GOAT PG title, he can't lose with Shaq on his team. |
8 |
Mavs
 |
Dirk has come back strong after screaming like a gay puppy about a twisted ankle. His show of toughness against the Suns is the kind of thing teammates want to see from their alleged leader. |
9 |
Warriors
 |
Nelson deserves praise for his job with this team, but people shouldn't take it too far. I mean, he's still an alcoholic. |
10 |
Raptors
 |
TJ Ford found his way back into the Raptors starting lineup, after presenting coach Sam Mitchell with a industrial-sized case of S-Curl texturizer. Jose Calderon came with Nu Nile, after being purposely misinformed by a giggling Anthony Parker. |
11 |
Magic
 |
Obviously, this thing with his future baby mama is distracting him. What a cliché. |
12 |
Rockets
 |
Shane Battier recently took offense to a reporter's response to his comments about his newborn child. Battier stated that he couldn't believe "how bald and wrinkled" the child was, to which the reporter laughed and replied "Seriously?" |
13 |
Cavs
 |
LeBron's back problems are starting to worry me. Every young player who has to carry his sorry ass team eventually breaks down. I saw it happen to Grant Hill, T-Mac and Vince Carter. |
14 |
Wizards
 |
Why would this team make the playoffs? What purpose does it serve? |
15 |
76ers
 |
How good is Iggy? He should finish top 10 in MVP voting. |
16 |
Nuggets
 |
So, they're gonna miss the playoffs WITH Iverson? Listen, people, it's time you reevaluate just how good Iverson is and what he brings to a team. |
17 |
Hawks
 |
|
18 |
Nets
 |
Trade Marcus Williams. |
19 |
Blazers
 |
Lawd, if they get a top 3 pick, help us all. |
20 |
Pacers
 |
Could Jermaine O'Neal be more blatant? He could've come back a month ago. J.O., I respect your blackness on this, but DAMN.you been pulling the same routine for 2.5 straight seasons. |
21 |
Bulls
 |
Gordon and Deng's strategy during contract negotiations should consist only of a picture of Kirk Hinrich and repeated utterances of the following: "C'mon, man! The fuck!?!?" Paxon would crack. |
22 |
Bobcats
 |
Is anyone else looking forward to seeing who Jordan picks in the draft? |
23 |
Bucks
 |
Where in the hell is Bobby Simmons? Is he playing? Someone let me know. |
24 |
Kings
 |
All kidding aside, it seems as if Ron Ron has grown up in Sacramento. Maybe he should stay there. |
25 |
Clippers
 |
Al Thornton is the first tweener in a long time to make me a believer. |
26 |
Knicks
 |
Asked what his demotion means for his future, Isiah Thomas answered, "Well, I can't make one trade and immediately be blamed fo this franchise's 30+ years of failure, so that's gonna suck. If there's one thing I love, it's being blamed for some shit that either happened before I was around or after I left. I really take pride in it. If you look at my post-playing career, you can see it's no coincidence that I've sought out these kinds of situations." |
27 |
Sonics
 |
They have Francisco Elson AND Johan Petro manning the middle for them. I think that says it all. |
28 |
Grizzlies
 |
Doesn't it seem like Mike Miller is 30-something? |
29 |
T-Wolves
 |
They just keep talking shit about KG now that he's gone. Now, if he talked about them, there'd be a big ass uproar and people would be talking about the money they paid him and this is how he's repaying them. Why can't this loyalty stuff work both ways? |
30 |
Heat
 |
The only interesting thing coming outta Miami is the Thug Misses' diatribes against Janet Jackson and Trina.
"DEM STANK ASS BITCHES NEED TA GIVE IT UP. ONE A WASHED UP HAS BEEN AN ONE A DUMB ASS HO WHO DON'T OWN HER PUBLISHIN! OH!!! I'M A REAL BITCH! NO MAN CAN'T DO SHIT FA ME!!! DAS WHY JERMAINE LIL ASS LIVE INSIDE DAT HO SLOPPY PUSSY!!!" |
