FIYA NBA
Rankings #19 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Celtics
 |
I think the value of Cassell will show more next year, when Rondo is able to apply everything he's learned over the course of a full season and into the postseason. Or he could just be an old and ugly footnote in what is sure to be a heart-breaking ending to a great season. |
2 |
Pistons
 |
Does anyone else notice that the hair around Rip's hairline looks like pubes? |
3 |
Lakers
 |
No one is more pissed about Pau getting hurt than Lamar. Now, he's second in command and Kobe's glare is firmly locked on him. Can he handle it, this time? |
4 |
Spurs
 |
To the three morons that thought they were about to fold, go to the back of the line and pray all the chocolate milk isn't gone by the time you're up. |
5 |
Jazz
 |
Anyone noticed how AK is being phased out? It's like watching Seven disappear from Married with Children. |
6 |
Hornets
 |
If his name were Steve Nash, the media would be declaring him MVP with little room for debate. |
7 |
Suns
 |
I think they're figuring things out. Shaq is a defensive force. |
8 |
Magic
 |
Why was Turkey-Do not an All-Star again? |
9 |
Rockets
 |
See now why Mac played it cool when they were winning those 70 games in a row? |
10 |
Mavs
 |
Can they hang on for two weeks without Dirk? Can Avery recite Shakespeare sonnets with an authentic English accent? |
11 |
Cavs
 |
Gloria James was last seen outside of Danny Ferry's office angrily pouring talcum powder into her right hand and mumbling, "Some damn Wally World...my baby deserve better." |
12 |
Warriors
 |
How they win with a lot of offense and no defense compared to the Nuggets who lose doing the same type shit is a tad strange to me. |
13 |
Raptors
 |
Bargnani's inconsistent play down the stretch is hurting their playoff chances something terrible. |
14 |
Nuggets
 |
After witnessing Dirk go down, the entire Denver roster said they would be going back to church next Sunday even though it wasn't Easter. |
15 |
76ers
 |
Iggy and Thad will be what Mac and G-Hill could've been. |
16 |
Hawks
 |
Did Mike bring his legendary Team Bibby goon squad to ATL from Sacc? I can't see them trying half the shit they did in Cow Town in the A. |
17 |
Blazers
 |
I can't wait to see Oden and Aldridge next year. Once they have some success, almost every franchise will try to emulate them, having varying degrees of miserable failure. |
18 |
Bulls
 |
When Noah becomes an All-Star, prepare yourselves for a level of assholishness the likes of which we have never witnessed in sports. He's gonna be like Dick Cheney during the second term. |
19 |
Wizards
 |
Gil's coming back? This is big news--I mean, will this affect his blogging, cause that's what's most important. |
20 |
Nets
 |
Call me crazy, but if they can get a defensive big man, they are not too far behind in the East, next year. |
21 |
Pacers
 |
When did Dunleavy Jr. become such a fucking hoss? He tryna carry them into the playoffs. |
22 |
Bobcats
 |
Seeking to build a stronger relationship with his players, GM Michael Jordan invited several of his young players to a swingers party at Charles Oakley's house. They all graciously declined, according to forward Gerald Wallace. "We all love Mike, man, but...I mean...nah, man. Just no," said Wallace. Understandable. |
23 |
Bucks
 |
|
24 |
Kings
 |
The Maloofs should try to illegally trade for Joe Smith, lose six draft picks and suck, so their attendance can finally go down. That'll justify the move to Vegas. |
25 |
Clippers
 |
Remember those three minutes they actually mattered a couple years ago? Me either. |
26 |
Knicks
 |
You know what's funny? All the stories about Isiah getting fired are done. The haters have emptied their guns and SuperZeke is still standing there, while dirtbag NYC journalists are tryna convince Steph into giving them something to run with. |
27 |
Sonics
 |
Goddamn! Memphis got a better record than them. |
28 |
Grizzlies
 |
But it's still Memphis, ya know? |
29 |
T-Wolves
 |
We're coming close to the end of sweater season...and hopefully the guy who's most often seen sporting them. |
30 |
Heat
 |
D-Wade's T-Mobile ad campaign is starting to resemble Dan & Dave's Reebok Olympic debacle. |
