FiyaStarter.com - Linwood Jenkins

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“My team ALWAYS plays better
at home. We don't travel well.”
-The Good Doctor
...with a sex reference

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--Standing 6-4, 220 pounds, Linwood was the star center for Mary McLeod Bethune High School in Bucktown, Alabama, a small community of approximately 250 African-Americans that is located right outside of Adulasia. According to the school’s official scorekeeper, Linwood’s uncle, Sylvester, Linwood averaged 76 points, 48 rebounds and 43 blocks, 34 steals and 2 assists a game during his senior season. “The boy just had a gift. People say he only dominated like he did because he was four inches taller than the next tallest kid, but that ain’t have nothing to do with it. He could stand still and dunk that ball from the free throw line. He shot 98% percent from the line because of that.” Sylvester adds that Linwood wasn’t selected to play in the 1982, where he would have faced Cheese Eyes McDonald’s All-American game “because of racism.”

NBA '07 FIYA Rankings - #18
by: Linwood Jenkins, for Sports

FIYA NBA Rankings #18
Rank	Team	FIYA Analysis
1	Celtics	Doc has the best see-through scalp cut of an NBA head coach since the Wes Unseld era in Washington.
2	Rockets	The elephant is not only in the room, but he's laid out on the couch eating a turkey club sandwich. Why else do you think T-Mac is keeping his ass quiet?
3	Pistons	While we all can't wait to see every game of every round from the West, all anyone really wants from the East is to see the Boston & Detroit play, right?
4	Lakers	Pau! There's goes your number one seed…for this week anyway.
5	Hornets	I hope New Orleans runs into San Antonio in the playoffs. You know a Paul nuts-punch to Rockhead-Bowen is coming just as sure as his 10+ dimes.
6	Spurs	Bowen didn't take his one game suspension very well. In fact, he protested by sticking his foot out under David Stern's assistant when she stepped off the curb. Traffic cams are reviewing the footage.
7	Jazz	Add Deron Williams to the list of "We Bringing Hi-Yella niggas Back" movement. Michael from The Wire ok'd the roster move.
8	Suns	Just like adjusting to a thick woman moving in and rearranging all your shit, Phoenix has gotten used to Shaq's fat ass lumbering up and down the court.
9	Magic	Turkey-Do & Lewis have to be the most unheralded big shot makers in the league this year. They hit about one a week.
10	Mavs	Jason Kidd seems to have found his jumper. Perhaps he left it in Dallas over ten years ago.
11	Cavs	How can LeBron not go number one in every fantasy draft from now until he retires? His stat lines be fuller than a nickel sack from Mr. Nice Guy.
12	Warriors	Speaking of weed, anybody else find it kind of ironic that perhaps the most exciting and energetic team in the NBA is full of the most potential tree blowers? Even Biedrins fills the cool white stoner role.
13	Raptors	In the midst of their late season push to get home court in the first round, Jose Calderon said he wouldn’t mind playing for the Lakers, next year. Yup, they're getting booted early.
14	Nuggets	Minus Camby, who don’t give a fuck at this point, this team is concerned with nothing but scoring. They're like a squad full of Steve Nash's at a U2 concert…or a squad full of Nash's at any NBA game.
15	Blazers	If they get that #1 ping pong ball this year, someone has to pull Paul Allen's bank statement and see if there was a large withdrawal made recently.
16	Wizards	Actually, I wouldn’t mind seeing a full strength Wizards-Cleveland series. It's fun seeing 'Bron let them believe they have a chance.
17	76ers	When asked about the recent success of Philly, Coach Cheeks said all credit goes to Reggie Evans. "His ugly ass is taking opposing Power Forwards out of their game, helping us win." In related news, Tim Duncan shot 5-14 and only grabbed 6 rebounds on Sunday.
18	Hawks	Fuck all that. Friday night, a falling traffic light almost hit me in downtown Atlanta, during what I later found out was a tornado. I thought the Cloverfield monster just relocated.
19	Bulls	I hope Duhon didn't skip another practice for that Duke ACC Tourney showing.
20	Nets	Proving that there is indeed a Jesus, Josh Boone scored 21 points and grabbed 13 rebounds against the Jazz, last week.
21	Pacers	At this point, if Bad Dad gets fired, I'll take the Zeke hit.
22	Bobcats	…and if Cheese Eyes got the axe, I'd be ok with the Celts winning the East.
23	Bucks	Desmond Mason is always gonna just be an athletic ordinary ass nigga. Only good for a couple highlights and a lot of average at best efforts during a season. What a waste.
24	Kings	Ron, you might have them fooled, but not me. You actin' right for that money and I see it.
25	Clippers	Don't ask me why, but when I found out Smush Parker found his way back to LA, I had a strong urge to watch Bon Voyage Charlie Brown (And Don't Come Back)…love that movie.
26	Knicks	Nate Robinson has been on fiya since he made my All-Teen Wolf Team…of course, I want some credit.
27	Sonics	Durant needs an enforcer to help him not get his ass kicked until he can get some real help. It can't be that hard to rent-a-Gooch. Charles Oakley said he could still play. There you go.
28	Grizzlies	"Memphis actually has a nice young nucleus," says many prognosticators. Unfortunately that phrase usually means a team is gonna be in the lottery for the next five years.
29	T-Wolves	Question: How long before Big Al realizes he's working his ass off for nothing? Answer: When the money from his check doesn't cover the humiliation every other night.
30	Heat	Here's an inside tidbit to Riles; if you get the first pick, and you select Beasley, keep plenty of bail money in the sock drawer.

FiyaStarter's Top 10 Rookie Watch

Kevin Durant
(19.6 PPG 4.1 RPG): Like I said last week, they aren’t winning but
I’m not gonna ignore these good ass shooting nights because
some people just realized Al is having a good year too.

Al Horford
(9.6 PPG 9.7 RPG): It’s a miracle he even sniffs this many
rebounds with Marvin and Josh on that team.

Luis Scola
(9.3 PPG 5.8 RPG): If they brought Martin back, Tracey Morgan’s role
as Hustle Man would be in trouble with Luis around.

Al Thornton
(12.0 PPG 4.2 RPG): After taking 24 shots against the Magic,
one thing is for sure, the nigga don’t care.

Jamario Moon
(8.5 PPG 6.5 RPG): His production is dropping like black
viewership on HBO on Sunday nights.

Juan Carolos Navarro
(10.9 PPG 2.2 APG): He’ll be one of the best shooters
in the league in about two years.

Jeff Green
(9.2 PPG 4.8 RPG): After taking part in allowing the Nuggets to
score 168 points on his squad, Jeff was notified that he had been
banned from the Georgetown campus for the summer.

Thaddeus Young
(7.6 PPG 4.1 RPG): This makes two niggas I know of named Thad.

Rodney Stuckey
(6.1 PPG 2.0 RPG): If Flip doesn't screw it up, Rodney is their next star.

Joakim Noah
(8.5 PPG 5.0 RPG): I understand why he doesn’t but I’d love it
if he had his own talk show or blog.