FiyaStarter.com - Linwood Jenkins

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Linwood Jenkins

--Standing 6-4, 220 pounds, Linwood was the star center for Mary McLeod Bethune High School in Bucktown, Alabama, a small community of approximately 250 African-Americans that is located right outside of Adulasia. According to the school’s official scorekeeper, Linwood’s uncle, Sylvester, Linwood averaged 76 points, 48 rebounds, 43 blocks, 34 steals and 2 assists a game during his senior season. “The boy just had a gift. People say he only dominated like he did because he was four inches taller than the next tallest kid, but that ain’t have nothing to do with it. He could stand still and dunk that ball from the free throw line. He shot 98% percent from the line because of that.” Sylvester also adds that Linwood wasn’t selected to play in the 1982, where he would have faced Cheese Eyes McDonald’s All-American game “because of racism.”

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(*updated through the previous Saturday, morons)

FIYA NBA Rankings PLAYOFF PREVIEW EDITION: Round 2
Team Match Up	FIYA Analysis
Suns (2) vs Spurs (3)	Fiya Matchup: Frenchie v. Canada Dry
	Team Sparks: Big Shot Bob, Brazilian Blur
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Tim Dogg, Frenchie, Manchild, Dat 'Trix
	Series Fiya Moment: Tim Duncan's series-winning clumsy banker-turnaround-miss-loose ball-rebound-three point play.
	All that crazy ass free-willing, fast-breaking, NBA Jamming shit shall end up like Steve's nose: Busted. Tim and them play defense.
	Pick: Spurs in a six
Jazz (4) vs Warriors (8)	Fiya Matchup: Baron The Beaver vs. Deron
	Team Sparks: Milsap, Matt Barnes
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Booz, Baron, Memo, J-Rich
	Series Fiya Moment: AK's series-altering 6th block in the first quarter of game 3.
	.The Jazz actually play D, so the Warriors can't count on all those uncontested threes and easy layups. I expect Memo to dominate this series, because he's not a bitch like Dirk. He's gonna set up outside and drop three all series long. And, obviously, they don't have anyone to match up with Boozer.
	Pick: Jazz in six
Pistons (1) vs Bulls (5)	Fiya Matchup: Ben Wallace's 16 million vs. Chris Webber's 700K
	Team Sparks: Low Budget Manu and That Damn Dirtbag Euro
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Big Teef Duo, Long Arm Luol, Long Arm Tay
	Series Fiya Moment: Pistons crowd with a round of sarcastic applause, as Big Ben goes to the bench in the elimination game.
	The Pistons are dead ass serious, while the Bulls are busy gloating about beating an old ass team whose best player was playing at roughly 70 percent. I can't give the Bulls a shot in this one, especially after seeing how well they defended Gordon in Game 1.
	Pick: Detriot in five
Cavs (2) vs Nets (6)	Fiya Matchup: LeBron's stat-stuffing vs. Kidd's stat-stuffing
	Team Sparks: Dat 'Bar vs. Bozo the Brazilian
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Drew Gooden and Mikki Moore
	Series Fiya Moment: Vince's merciless, but meaningless one-hander on Big Z's head.
	The Nets are the better team, and they should win this series, but I have a feeling they won't. At some point, Vince and Jefferson are gonna stop caring and realize that they ain't doing shit but shortening their summer vacations, while Bron is gonna be playing his heart out and trying to advance his team, no matter what. What will be the difference in the series? Bron is young and dumb enough to think he can actually win a title this year. Vince isn't.
	Pick: Cleveland in six