FiyaStarter.com - Linwood Jenkins

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Linwood Jenkins

--Standing 6-4, 220 pounds, Linwood was the star center for Mary McLeod Bethune High School in Bucktown, Alabama, a small community of approximately 250 African-Americans that is located right outside of Adulasia. According to the school’s official scorekeeper, Linwood’s uncle, Sylvester, Linwood averaged 76 points, 48 rebounds, 43 blocks, 34 steals and 2 assists a game during his senior season. “The boy just had a gift. People say he only dominated like he did because he was four inches taller than the next tallest kid, but that ain’t have nothing to do with it. He could stand still and dunk that ball from the free throw line. He shot 98% percent from the line because of that.” Sylvester also adds that Linwood wasn’t selected to play in the 1982, where he would have faced Cheese Eyes McDonald’s All-American game “because of racism.”

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(*updated through the previous Saturday, morons)

FIYA NBA Rankings PLAYOFF PREVIEW EDITION: Round 1
Team Match Up	FIYA Analysis
Detroit (1) vs Orlando (8)	Fiya Matchup: Grant Hill and Darko v. Piston Fans
	Team Sparks: The Delusionist, Low Budget Manu
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Rip and Chauncey’s Teeth
	Series Fiya Moment: ‘Sheed making Howard wanna fight.
	The eventual EC Champs will have no problem shaking off a team that shouldn’t have made the playoffs in the first place. ‘Sheed, Chauncey, Delfino, Flip and Rip will all be practicing their three point strokes in this series.
	Pick: Detroit in 5. Only because I can see Turkeydo getting hot one game at home.
Cleveland (2) vs Washington (7)	Fiya Matchup: LeBron vs. Boredom
	Team Sparks: None needed, Nothing
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Gilbert’s face
	Series Fiya Moment: Gilbert hops onto the court and attacks LeBron
	This series is gonna make Larry Hughes, Big Z and Drew Gooden look like they all deserve every penny their overpaid asses are making. It’s also gonna give Jamison lots of leverage this summer if he decides to become a free agent, because he’s gonna average 30 a game during this debacle.
	Pick: Man, they getting they asses kicked.
Toronto (3) vs New Jersey (6)	Fiya Matchup: Kidd vs. Raptor’s little ass backcourt.
	Team Sparks: Dat ‘Bar, Gunnin’ Ass Juan
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Vince and RJ
	Series Fiya Moment: The predictable series-clinching alley-oops Kidd throws Vince.
	Toronto has had a great run, but they ain’t ready for all this. Sam Mitchell is busy fielding offers from other teams anyway. The only interesting thing about this series is watching Nachbar become a star. I had no idea this guy was this good. I would not be surprised to see New Jersey in the conference finals.
	Pick: Nets in 6
Miami (4) vs Chicago (5)	Fiya Matchup: Shaq vs. Big Ben
	Team Sparks: Dusty Ass Dutch Nigga, Kaponovich
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Wade, Deng, Lil Benny
	Series Fiya Moment: Tyrus falling to the ground when no one touches him and injuring himself.
	If Miami is gonna keep bullshittin’ and tryna guard Deng with Wade, then they are going home. They need to give Shaq the ball and let him push and hit and knock people outta the way and dunk. But, even if Shaq dominates this series, I’m not sure it’ll be enough if this is truly Deng’s coming out party. Deng is gonna blow soon and Lawd have mercy on the Heat if it’s gonna be this series, where he officially declares his stardom.
	Pick: Miami in 7
Dallas (1) vs Golden State (8)	Fiya Matchup: Baron v. Jason Terry
	Team Sparks: Biedrins, Barry Bomber
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Dirk, Baron
	Series Fiya Moment: Dirk pullin’ up for a big ass 15 footer as he leads a 3 on 1 break.
	I remember when Terry and Baron were in the Pac-10 and Baron was clearly the better player. My-oh-my, time’s have changed. Terry has worked hard to become the player he is, while Baron has always been a physical marvel. I am going to enjoy every second of Terry out-hustling, out-thinking and out-classing this guy. It’s also gonna be interesting to see Nelson and Avery shaking hands after this is over. Awkward.
	Pick: Mavs in 5
Phoenix(2) vs Los Angeles (7)	Fiya Matchup: Steve Nash v. Passing lanes
	Team Sparks: Barbosa, Nothing
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Suns starting Five v. Kobe
	Series Fiya Moment: Kwame laughing on the bench during the final minutes of the deciding game.
	The Sun have more talent. Kobe will get blamed. So, in summary, the Suns have more talent and Kobe will get blamed.
	Pick: Suns in 6
San Antonio (3) vs Denver (6)	Fiya Matchup: Parker v. A.I.
	Team Sparks: Natural Fadeaway Mike, Linas “Russian Hitman” Klieza
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Tim Dogg, Frenchie, The Thug Icons
	Series Fiya Moment: Melo giving Iverson “the look” when they get eliminated.
	All I know is my man J.R. Smith was on his way to putting up some nice numbers and then The Second Contract Killer came into town. He was averaging 16 points per game and the numbers were steadily rising. Now, look at him. He's just all fucked up. He's ‘bout to break Drew Bledoe’s record for half-hearted cheering shots.
	Pick: Spurs in 6
Utah(4) vs Houston (5)	Fiya Matchup: Yao v. Memo
	Team Sparks: Milsap, Luther
	Series Fiya Starter(s): Not AK, that’s for damn sure. He sorry.
	Series Fiya Moment: When Mac’s back locks up.
	I simply do not trust Mac’s back to act right long enough for him to get his squad past the Jazz. Houston gonna fuck around and be up 3-0 and this guy is gonna do a reverse layup and land clutching that lower back, just like he always does. Furthermore, I believe Deron Williams is one of the league’s next great players and I don’t see why he can’t start his legend here in this series. Who’s gonna stop him?
	Pick: Jazz in 7