FIYA NBA
Rankings #4 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
| 1 |
Spurs
 |
|
| 2 |
Jazz
 |
Can't lose to the Warriors and expect to stay #1 on these rankings. Maybe Mark Stein's tall midget ass will keep them #1, but not Linwood. |
| 3 |
Mavs
 |
Man, I ain't seen a mad ass German dominate like this since.
*Phone rings*
*Linwood picks up*
"Hello? Oh, how's it going Mr. Foxman. What's wrong? But, I didn't even finish the joke yet. How did I offend the Jewish Community? How do you know what I was gonna say? No, I wanna know how you knew my joke, that is the issue. You Jews done built a time-machine, haven't you? I'm not being crazy. You call me to tell me a joke I haven't even finished is offensive and I'm being paranoid? You time-machine building jackass, don't call me no more with this stuff!" |
| 4 |
Rockets
 |
Now that Yao is officially the best player on this team, McGrady will relax and hit lots of big shots. |
| 5 |
Lakers
 |
In two months, Kobe will be dominating close games like that one in Utah with his usual ease. |
| 6 |
Magic
 |
They are as good as Hill's health. Bottom-line. |
| 7 |
Warriors
 |
Baron Davis has been spending his time off helping to build dams. "I just wanted to give back to my community," said the beaver-looking ass nigga. |
| 8 |
Nuggets
 |
Stern is scared as hell of J.R. Smith. I hear he's trying to figure a way to work a Larry Hughes for J.R. trade. |
| 9 |
Pistons
 |
Nice to see those guards adjusting to not having Ben back there. I knew Rip hadn't forgot to how to play D. |
| 10 |
Suns
 |
I hope I'm not jinxing it, but I wonder how they'd look if Marion got hurt. I'm pretty sure they'd be horrible. |
| 11 |
Cavs
 |
Big Z owners, you got one of your eight big games you're gonna get out of him the other day. I sincerely hope you started that bad feet fool. |
| 12 |
Hornets
 |
Man, I did not know David West was this important. HAHAHAHAHA...that nigga look like the brotha on Heroes anyway. NOOOPE!!
*pushes NBADraft.net staff away*
Think of y'all own shit. |
| 13 |
Kings
 |
I ain't seen a light skinned backcourt kick so much ass since...well, Bibby and Miles Simon. |
| 14 |
Clippers
 |
Shaun Livingston has just let Brandon Jennings, Johnny Flynn and Justin Jenifer surpass him on the waiting list for "The Next Great PG." |
| 15 |
Nets
 |
The Jay-Z album is awful and this team knows it. |
| 16 |
Pacers
 |
J.O. practically has a countdown on his forehead. Hell, Miami *might* take him. Nah, Bird can't be that fucking stupid. |
| 17 |
Heat
 |
Mark these words: Chris Webber. Now, watch all these short ass white men on ESPN steal my shine, as usual. But, yeah, Webber's passing and rebound in the playoffs = REFUCKINPEAT |
| 18 |
Blazers
 |
So much for my theory that being biracial is the key to overcoming micro fracture surgery. Zach Randolph's had it done and he looks like something Dr. Leakey found in the Sub-Sahara and brought back to life. |
| 19 |
Hawks
 |
I'm pretty sure they'll draft a PG in '07. If they don't, they deserve what they get. |
| 20 |
Sonics
 |
Be honest, you thought Chris Wilcox would either go back to being sorry or break out. Nobody expected him to actually try hard, because no one wanted to admit to themselves that his ceiling was severely overestimated. This is why I don't fuck with DUMB "athletes" at the 4 and the 1. Gimme a burly crafty nigga with a motor all day, every day. |
| 21 |
T-Wolves
 |
Randy Foye is alive. Now we can see if McHale fucked up again or not. |
| 22 |
Bulls
 |
The only thing you mad ass Bulls fans know about a low-post threat is when a thread about your team's lack of points in the paint is made and it gets low reply numbers, because y'all are too threatened to talk about it. |
| 23 |
76ers
 |
Time to see how good Shav Randolph is. I been waiting for this. Should be fun. I'm gonna say 11 and 7 in 27 minutes per. |
| 24 |
Knicks
 |
Marbury's very existence is being tested right now. He has no excuses. None. When a nigga can't even play the race card...damn. That's a nigga's worst nightmare. That card is important. I don't leave home without it. |
| 25 |
Celtics
 |
Ainge needs to hurry up and trade West so he can help a contending team win a title. His winner's mentality is wasted here. |
| 26 |
Wizards
 |
Why is Gil taking nights off? Does he not have the money to cover the donations to all those schools?
(*Nope, you should know what that meant, look it up.) |
| 27 |
Raptors
 |
Anthony Parker is a damn fine reserve. It's just too bad he's starting. |
| 28 |
Bucks
 |
Ironically, this team lost the hair on its chest when Charlie got hurt. |
| 29 |
Bobcats
 |
Morrison is refusing to let Jordan look stupid for taking him. Damn! |
| 30 |
Grizzlies
 |
I don't care if he's retiring. I don't care about his past transactions. All I know is Troy Bell, Dahntay Jones and Rudy Gay. He is not a genius. He cost Wilt at least 2 titles, too. Fuck him. |
