FIYA NBA Rankings #21 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Mavs
 |
After watching Dirk drop 17 in the final quarter against the Knicks, only one thought crossed my mind. "Please give Steve Nash that MVP, because this muhfucka just ended all hope for the Knicks to make the postseason. Fuck him." |
2 |
Spurs
 |
Yup they're still around...doing good things and making it day to day...like President Jimmy Carter. |
3 |
Suns
 |
He beat Dirk twice on national TV. Um, that's a lock. |
4 |
Pistons
 |
For an EC team to beat them in seven, someone is gonna have to be less than 100% healthy. They're too cohesive. |
5 |
Jazz
 |
If they ain't gonna let Brewer ball, they need to send him some place where he can at least find some fly hoes in his spare time. |
6 |
Bulls
 |
Finally! Deng is being recognized as the #1 option. There will be title hopes for this team, after all. |
7 |
Cavs
 |
I'm convinced Z moves slower than Sabonis did. |
8 |
Rockets
 |
Rafer has really come a long way since that SLAM cover almost ruined his career. |
9 |
Raptors
 |
Chris Bosh might seriously be passing Wade, LeBron and Melo soon. He is a damn animal. |
10 |
Heat
 |
I wonder if Zo gets hyped about non-basketball shit. Like, does he get pumped when he finds a parking spot in a busy area? You know he does. I bet he flexes hard when finds that remote, too. Hell, I do, so I know he does. |
11 |
Magic
 |
With the way he's been dunking on star big men the past two years, one must ask the question: Just how delusional is Trevor Ariza? |
12 |
Wizards
 |
No Caron for at least a month? I don't know how anyone can say this team makes it out of the first round. |
13 |
Lakers
 |
Yeah, that was an ugly way to end his hot streak, but Wade, Dirk, Bron, Iverson and the rest of 'em can't even find a way to start a streak like that. |
14 |
Nuggets
 |
Klieza might look like the Russian mobster, but he can ball for sure. |
15 |
Clippers
 |
Inserting Maggette into the starting lineup was a stroke of genius by Dunleavy. That's why he's one of the leagues highest paid, folks. |
16 |
Pacers
 |
J.O., clearly a victim of K.G. Syndrome, is trying to will this team into the playoffs. |
17 |
Warriors
 |
|
18 |
Hornets
 |
Take the pick. |
19 |
Nets
 |
Why does Jefferson strike me as one of them corny niggas that hosts a Nickelodeon show? Nigga look like he be saying shit like, "Let's hear it, gang" a lot. |
20 |
Knicks
 |
Quick! Everybody pad your stats! Every man for himself! Get them stats up! STATS! |
21 |
T-Wolves
 |
If you took McHale's post-KG draft picks and and matched them up against the current best five high school juniors in the nation, they would get destroyed. |
22 |
Kings
 |
Ron Ron just needs to retire from being crazy. Then, he could focus on being a better ball player. |
23 |
Blazers
 |
They don't need Zach anymore. Roy is a legit 20 PPG players and LaMarcus is for real. Get rid of that contract and get a pick. |
24 |
Bucks
 |
Has any team in any sport ever been this irrelevant? They are not a thread to do shit. They're just there to complete the schedule. |
25 |
76ers
 |
One word: Tendonitis. Look for Iggy to come down with it the final two weeks of the season. |
26 |
Hawks
 |
When asked to describe his rookie season in one word, Shelden Williams answered, "Ugly. But, don't make that into a joke or something." |
27 |
Sonics
 |
|
28 |
Bobcats
 |
I'd like to see what May could do if he stayed healthy for a full year. Then, he can go back to being hurt, for all I care. |
29 |
Celtics
 |
Contrary to reports made last week, there is no truth to the story that Ainge's car broke down outside Greg Oden's mother's home and he knocked on the door and said, "Hi, can I use your...wait.aren't you...?" |
30 |
Grizzlies
 |
I wonder if Kyle Lowry is their PG of the future. I think it'd be a mistake to give up on him this early. |
