FiyaStarter.com - Gino Tourretti Goes Against the Grain

-

“I'm completely wrong.”
-Steve Smith
Panthers receiver, rumored character
in next Punisher film.

Comments on content?
email us

Wanna submit something?
*read this page

--Former Division III QB
--Backed up Brett Favre in Pop Warner League
--He was highly rated in HS until his tourrette's syndrome became so severe that he cursed out coaches and teammates, and he’d often have fits of rage where he threw the football as hard as he could at the referees, often knocking them unconscious and even causing brain-damage to one. Because of his condition, only the worst college football programs would take him. Gino also think black people are incapable of succeeding in positions of leadership in sports, whether they be quarterbacks, coaches, general managers, owners or trainers. As he puts it, “It’s like slavery…blacks just don’t do good work unless there’s a white man looking over them at all times. You can’t put a black in charge of other blacks. You just can’t.”

Gino’s Super Bowl Preview and Prediction
by: Gino Tourretti, for Sports

One day Tom Brady will lose a playoff game, NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! NO SHIT! WHOOP! but, it won’t be this year. The Philadelphia Eagles are led by BLACK MAN! BLACK!!! SPOOKS CAN’T PLAY QB! ACK! Donovan McNabb, who, athletically, is far superior to Brady and nearly equals Brady in fortitude and the will to win. HE WON’T WIN SUNDAY! SPOOK’S GONNA LOSE! However, this game will ultimately be decided by their teammates. Here’s a breakdown of both teams…

Offense: The Patriots under coach Bill Belicheck FUCKING GENIUS! run a methodical, plodding ball control system. With the addition of Corey Dillon ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!, their offense is as predictable as before, but far more explosive and harder to stop. Brady rarely makes mistakes and he has a reliable corps of wideouts in Branch, Givens and Brown SCRUBS! FUCK! NOTHING WITHOUT BRADY! HMPH! ACK! who are all very good running after the catch.

Philly has Donovan McNabb and 10 other guys wearing the same uniform, not one of whom is named Terrell Owens.

Edge: Pats

Defense: In Patriots LB Willie McGinest BIG BLACK SPOOK! WHOOP! UGLY! MEAN! FUCK! HUGE! ACK! and Philly S Bryan Dawkins, both defenses are led by guys who look like they run things around a prison yard.

However, McGinest looks like he can actually play the part

Edge: Pats

Special Teams: The Eagles J.R. Reed flies around the field with the kind desperate recklessness I haven’t seen since Don Beebee.

Edge: Eagles

Coaching: Bill Bilicheck has two rings. Andy Reid FAT FUCK! FOOD! HMPH! I AM THE WALRUS! GOO GOO G’JOOB! doesn’t.

Edge: Pats

Prediction: Tom Brady has three rings. Peyton Manning FUCKING SUCKS! WHOOP! HATE! OVERRATED! FUCK! SHIT! LOSER! TEE MARTIN! would do well to watch his performance on Sunday and learn a thing or two.