FiyaStarter.com - Linwood Jenkins

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--Standing 6-4, 220 pounds, Linwood was the star center for Mary McLeod Bethune High School in Bucktown, Alabama, a small community of approximately 250 African-Americans that was located right outside of Adulasia. According to the school’s official scorekeeper, Linwood’s uncle, Sylvester, Linwood averaged 76 points, 48 rebounds and 43 blocks, 34 steals and 2 assists a game during his senior season. “The boy just had a gift. People say he only dominated like he did because he was four inches taller than the next tallest kid, but that ain’t have nothing to do with it. He could stand still and dunk that ball from the free throw line. He shot 98% percent from the line because of that.” Sylvester adds that Linwood wasn’t selected to play in the 1982, where he would have faced Cheese Eyes McDonald’s All-American game “because of racism.”

Blogging NBA All-Star Weekend 2008
by: Linwood Jenkins, for Sports

FiyaStarter offered to send me to New Orleans, but I didn't wanna get robbed and/or killed. Here's how I saw All-Star Saturday, then the game on Sunday though:

Shooting Stars Competition

8:33pm - Saturday

Laimbeer is old as shit. He's gonna hurt himself.

8:34

Duhon hits the half-courter...powerful.

8:35

Amare's gonna fuck the Suns up...nope, it was Eddie Johnson and his damn black military scientist bush.

8:40

Duncan knows his big ass...GODDAMN, D-ROB STRONG.David Robinson just flicked his wrist and hit a jumper from half court, while Duncan was push-shooting like a damn lil boy.

8:41

Laimbeer in the house, nigga. FOUL! THAT'S A FOUL! Just kidding.

8:43

BJ Armstrong played like shit. Congrats to the San Antonio folks. I know y'all saw Duncan manhandle that lil white girl and put her in the middle of him and D-Rob. Bet that ain't the first time that's happened. MMMMMMHUH!

8:59

Deron Williams moving fast.

9:01

TJ, ain't nobody listening to your big head ass. Deron don't care. LMAO, Deron ignored him.

9:03

LMAO! TJ don't understand why Jason tanked...his head big.HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

9:04

Paul Ball!! HELL YEAH!!! That's my ball-smashing lil doggy! *pause* Best PG in the world!

9:05

Wade choked harder than a hooker-hatin' serial killer.

9:10

OH NO!!! Deron Williams acting good! NO! NO! Dunk. That's gonna be tough to beat.

9:11

Let's go, CP. GO! NO! RACISM!!!! They shrank that hoop so the lightskinded boy would win over CP3. Some Bullshit!

Three Point Shootout

9:24pm - Saturday

What the fuck is Kenny Smith talking about? He can't shoot.

9:25

Kaponovich is my guy. I'm calling repeat.

9:26

Rip is bald. No way he wins. Has a bald fucker ever won this? Got hot for a sec...tanked the money ball. He had a decent round. THIS MUHFUCKA STEPPED ON THE LINE FIVE TIMES!!! He got 11 points!!! REPLAY!!!

9:30

Not bad Boobie. Not bad. Uh-oh.cold. Go Boobie! GO! Powerful. Boob can advance with that score.

9:31

Of course Nash gets hot at the top of the key. He some bullshit. Slow release jackass.

9:33

Why is Dirk throwing up these big ass rainbows? Well, it don't matter, because he's cookin'.

9:35

Peja is selling. Hot. Nope. Nah. Go home, catapult.

9:37

Oh, they can't see that 'Panovich. He's hot like Shia right now.

9:48

Go Boob! C'mon! SHUT THE FUCK UP REGGIE, YOU CRAGGLY-MOUTHED JINX!!! DAMN!!! Ok, 17 isn't bad. I will kill Reggie if he keeps talking.

9:50

Dirk time. Awful. Take some Arc off that. Cuban looks like the fuckin Devil clappin in the shadows over there. Why are they talking about titties?

9:52

DAT 'VICH!!! HE TIED KENTE CRAIG!!! HE TIED KENTE CRAIG!!! What a performance!

10:00

Nash speaks better than Dwight Howard. I'm surprised. Are you?

10:01

*asshole smile*

10:02

This old ass homeless man on this piano is putting an arena full of people to sleep. Fuck this, my fish sticks ready.

Dunk Contest

10:09pm - Saturday

Daryl Dawkins dominatin' them. That suit looks like it's made of Chocolate Milk and cotton.

10:14

Jamario Moon's first dunk was impressive.

10:15

HAHAHAHAHAHA.Moesha Daddy Bush got hung. Wack! GOTDAMN WHY KENNY TALK SO MUCH?

10:16

D-HOW almost bumped his head. Damn. Hope he don't get dicked. HAHHAHAHA! Doc don't know what to give him.

10:19

Birthday cake? This is stupid. If he bites that cake mid-air and dunks...GODDAMN, McCants looks like an ugly lil boy lighting that candle! I hope this boy catch on fire. DAMN!!! KENNY SAID BLOWED OUT LIKE EMMITT!!! Daryl Dawkins is dumb. 'Nique's just mad and Karl is country, dumb and mad. Fuck them. That dunk was perfect and I don't even like Gerald.

10:25

Are these old muhfuckas on drugs? 10s? Are they judging his haircut.HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.Magic just banged out: "Well, we gree to disagree, Chuck" Fuck is "gree?" HAHAHAHAHAHA, Magic on a roll. "There won't be a sco that we can sco him on."

10:28

Jamario long-limbed ass gonna make this with ease. Bad bounce. It was okay. Nevermind.

10:30

Nice. McCants is so ugly.

10:33

At the risk of sounding like Eric Bates (The Toy...step your Pryor game up), Dwight Howard is fun. Seriously, he's just fun. Let's see what this is.WOW! Did he actually dunk it? SHIT! He's high as hell. He threw that damn thing in. Or as Magic would say, he "tho'ed" the ball through the rim.

10:41

I hate Kenny. Nice dunk. But, I know D-How coming wit dat double tap.

10:42

D-How loves them cheerleaders. Double tap, y'all. DAMN! He Good!

10:44

No shoes and no trophy. This is D-How show, 9 Finger Willy.

10:46

Howard got the best imagination I've seen in this competition in a minute. He's hilarious. Damn, He missed...HAHAHAHA, Gerald hoping he miss. How pathetic. He knows he's sorry and he needs this crown.

10:50

Dawkins is drunk as fuck, talkin about some damn power and "magistration." You the magistrate, you big country ass nigga. The fuck? Doc, no one cares.you fucked that young girl on tape and no one talk about it. WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING?!?! GOOD! BOO HIM!!! BOO HIM!!! C'Mon, Magic, say something crazy. Damn, he didn't. Boring.

10:52

Howard Supermanned them Hoes.

2008 NBA All-Star Game

8:25pm - Sunday

Introductions, ugh. Long and wack. If only that trombone player would have turned to the right and stabbed Pierce in the neck.

8:48

Hey, Bosh is starting after all. I'm happy for him. I heard him and his girlfriend were getting killed on blogs since Friday. Dunno why. If you do, gimme a foreheads up.

8:52

Dwight Howard is gonna touch the top of the backboard sometime tonight.

8:53

...and if he doesn't LeBron will.

8:57

Kobe's done for the night...so they say. Ok, let this game be close, down the stretch.

9:07

This game is sloppy and boring. Reminds me of Cherokee after she takes her clothes off.

9:10

Gabby Union in the house. Can't hate on D-Wade for that one. I'd probably be willing to destroy my marriage for that too.

9:14

WHY ARE THEY PLAYING DEFENSE?!!!!

9:20

Uh oh, Paul and Roy, aka the first name gang, starting up that showmanship.
*crosses fingers*

9:28

This game is missing three things: Bill Walton, Vince Carter and Kobe. Bron and Howard have a chance to offset the Vince shit with a couple of these dunks, but there's a log jam at people you cheer for. Aint nobody out there to hate and hope he doesn't get that MVP. Clearly that's the element Kobe brings. This shit is like hanging out with Superman the one day Lex calls out sick.

9:34

Oh yeah, and Bill Walton is just entertaining. Matter of fact that booth should be him, Charles and Stephen A.

9:38

MORE DEFENSE?! I HOPE EVERYONE WITH A STEAL OR BLOCK GETS ROBBED BY A 3RD WARD RESIDENT WHEN THEY LEAVE!!!

9:45

I'm really impressed with Brandon Roy. This is the first time I've seen him with a fresh cut. Usually he's got that week old shit goin' on. You can't be a visible hi yella nigga with a week old fade. Deron Williams understands the game.

9:48

Halftime. I think I'm gonna finish off the rest of those fish sticks from last night. I've got this bomb sauce I make. It consists of tartar sauce, ketchup and Franks hot sauce. Gotta be Franks though, not that bullshit. Damn, I love fish sticks.

10:11

I've been peeking in with my fishsticks in the oven and damn if Charles didn't just provide more entertainment than the game and that boring ass Aaron Neville-less halftime "show" combined, in three minutes.

10:18

A.I. gave a pep talk? LMAO, four years ago he would still be drunk and high. Officially old...fishsticks ready.

10:23

How fitting that at 10:23 LeBron James all but wrapped up that MVP? Looks like he's going for a triple double.

10:26

Is there anything KG isn't passionate about? Wii Bowling, cake frosting, Plies?...ooh, Chris Paul is back.

10:32

It's a Carolina block party. They musta got word Duke lost to Wake...Paul too.

10:40

The Rookie game was so much better than this piece of shit. Hell, I just simulated a game on 2K9 better than this.

10:44

I can not believe I skipped The Wire for this piece of shit.

10:48

Dwight mad, Amare just wiped him down. Shaq is somewhere smiling. That boy stole his spot and Superman gimmick in one weekend.

10:53

Hahahaha, it's a game. Kobe watch is on. Jerry Buss scared! He just pushed that young bitch off his lap. Hahahahaha.

10:56

Umm hmm, Paul talkin that shit to 'Bron. I just had an All-Star flashback. 'Bron gonna fuck around and blacklist Chris from that Olympic team, like...

11:01

"AMARE GET THE YAYO!"

11:05

Ray-Ray doin his best Boobie Gibson impression, down the stretch.

11:10

Bron just dunked on the universe...the entire universe and we are all witnesses.

11:13

They give this MVP to Ray Allen and I swear I will not eat this last fish stick.

11:17

*crunch*