20) Brian Reese - I have never seen a more unathletic athlete. And he had the nerve to try to dunk everything and miss half the damn time, letting out that stupid ass yell.
19) JR Reid - How you gonna be a thug and got a S-Curl hi-top fade…with DYE IN IT?!?!?
18) Ademola Okulaja - Only a black German would come to America and think he gonna wreck some shit. What a foreign bamma.
17) Jeff McInnis - Who the hell thinks it’s gully to fuck an assistant coach’s wife? A FAKE ASS THUG, that’s who. That’s just why Charles Oakley snuffed the shit out his black lipped ass.
16) Jerry Stackhouse - Charged with hitting a real estate agent, because SHE told him his time was up on his rental property. Wow. Just Ignant as hell.
15) Shammond Williams - I admired his hard work to get himself into the L, but all of his scowling and gesturing has earned him a spot on the list.
14) Ed Cota - Ice-wagon Ed seemed destined for the NBA, until the 98-99 season, when he could no longer throw his lobs to Vince and got his lunch ate game after game by Steve Francis, Will Avery, Robert O’Kelly, Curtis Staples and Terrell McIntyre. Nobody wanted to draft this slow ass fool after that. They shoulda got hip to this fool’s tardiness when Mike Bibby destroyed him the year before.
13) Julius Peppers - A big strong ass fool. Him and his little ass ears were always on the court tryna gooch somebody.
12) Vince Carter - After years of primping and prancing each time he displayed the great gift God gave him, he has resigned himself to being the weaker half of the Nets’ ambiguously gay duo.
11) Ty Lawson - Get yo cheese up, Ty! So Sherron Collins can eat that shit, along with the rest of your fucking lunch, nigga.
10) Melvin Scott - This fake ass extra on The Wire just looks like he can’t wait to get shot.
9) Joe Forte - Seriously, need I even explain?
8) Danny Green - A born and bred fake thug. Typical yellow ass bamma… overcompensating.
7) Jawad Williams - Came into the ACC talkin’ big shit as a top 20 HS player and got his ass handed to him almost every game. Some UNC fans still don’t understand why he’s not in the league. LMAO!! They are fucking crazy.
6) Jason Capel - The jewel of UNC’s legendary failurific 1998 class, along with Lang and Ronald “Layups are hard” Curry. The were all top 15 players and not a single one ever wore an NBA uniform, but you couldn’t tell Jason he wasn’t the shit. What a bamma. He still tries out for NBA teams every summer. Take a hint, dude. If only you were as smart as your brother. Maybe Dean could groom you to coach. Oh, I forgot, black assistant coaches at UNC don’t get the big jobs at other programs. What, you never noticed?
5) Tyler Hansbrough - His crazy, strong white boy act was going great until he ran into two real thug white boys, a big ass German-American named Aldrich and massive GOTDAMN Russian Bear called Sasha. He ain’t have a chance. Take your wide-eyed, travelling, flopping ass home, you fake ass thug.
4) Michael Jordan - Got scooped up at 25 years-old by an experienced older woman and over the next 20 years of his life, he sired her two kids and paid her nearly a quarter-billion dollars to do so. All the while, Cheese Eyes' dumb ass thought he was a G, because she LET him cheat on her with older white women and silly little college hoes, so she could build her case and eventually use his money to attract another young, much smarter stud to spend the rest of her life with. What a massive L. Who the fuck wants to be like this guy?
3) Kris Lang - A damn clown. The Guy From Deliverance never delivered for the Holes. He was good for two dumb ass hook shots per game and gassing out in the last eight minutes, after he yelled through his mouthpiece the whole damn game.
2) Rashad McCants - The Headcase has all the talent to be an NBA all-star, but he can’t be bothered with all the stuff that comes with it…like sanity.
1) Mahktar Ndiaye - Provided the lowest moment in Dean Smith’s career, when he LIED on a Mormon boy named Britton Johnnsen, accusing him of calling him a nigger and put Dean in the position of having to support his lying ass player. Later, his big dumb ass broke down crying and told the truth. Dean apologized to Rick Majerus and the whole state of Utah. Pure comedy.
FYI - The Real Niggas: Sheed…the realest G in UNC history and the only one of them I will ever like. Antawn Jamison…a stand up guy. George Lynch…seems to have a good, albeit massive, head on his shoulders. Jackie Manuel…never bothered nobody. He was country and nice. Serge Zwikker…he was just happy to be sorry. He now earns a nice living as a big ass IT guy.
