20) Thomas Hill (he's gotta be 20, because if I put him any higher than that would mean he's above someone and thus not the corniest. So this 20 is really like being number one)
19) Cherokee Parks - He was offered as the next Laettner (which is another reason why he's on this list), but he sucked and he had a horrible haircut. He looked like Frankenstein if he was a hippie.
18) Steve “Wojo”...you know who I mean. This dude has to be one of the most overrated players in NCAA history. He simply brought the ball over the time line and he passed it. Oh yeah, he got his shot blocked and missed a whole lot of threes too. Umm, did I forget to mention he turned over a lot and couldn’t finish. Other than that he was solid. I know his back up went home after practice and played Russian roulette every night.
17a.) Alaa Abdelnaby and 17b.) Robert Brickey- If you've ever seen Alaa play and in turn heard Dicky V's boasting of his play, you realized that the two didn’t match, at all. And Brickey played back when Coach K was allowed but one Negro per team (so you know he was corny as bad feet).
16) Trajan Langdon - He's from Alaska. Anchorage to be exact...moving on.
15) Phil Henderson - he was 6'4 and 115 pounds. He looked like Urkel would have given him a definite struggle... and thus corny
14) Grant Hill - Grant is cool, he's even nice as hell (basketball wise- before the ankle thing), plus he’s got Tamia. But “G” is corny and I could never get past the Piano thing and the bad acting on Living Single. CORNY.
13) Nate James - He thought he was soooo damn nice. He came into Howard's gym a few times and you would have that he thought he was fucking George Gervin. Did he ever start a game? Ehhh, corny nonetheless.
12) Jeff Capel - He hit that jumper vs. UNC and that’s about all. How in the world is he the coach at Oklahoma? He's like 30 and he wasn't even good. Also, his brother was horrible at UNC, in case you didn’t know.
11) Brian Davis - He's 11 just because he’s never been top ten in anything before now and I’m not about to be the one to start that kind of B.S.
10) I hate this guy to the point that I don't even want to type his fucking name. But, his utter corniness is unadulterated. He's the king of all corns, with this weird shaped head like Ken Griffey had on the Simpsons. The gentleman of which I speak is (I'm closing my eyes because I'm not watching this happen, it just ain't goin’ down...but, here goes)...Shelden Williams. <------You know that click is worth it.
***Bonus Pick-Bonus Pick-Bonus Pick***
Dave Brown - most of you all don’t know who Dave Brown is, but the Giants fans most certainly do. Biggest waste of time ever. Go to hell, Horace.
9) Jayson Williams - He's black, he's from Jersey, and he went to Duke---Nuff said.
8) He's the all-time leader in charges taken at Duke. Now you tell me Shane Battier ain't corny.
7) JJ Redick - Just because he thought he was sooooo friggin cool and Vitale said he was gonna be such a great pro...please. He’s one Dwight Howard knee injury from being on his way to the USBL.
6) Mike Dunleavy - He's overratedness is bested only by Wojoici...you know who the helll I'm talking about---Point is he looks like Mask and he sucks as a pro too, but he's from Duke so...
5) Kobe Bryant – Yeah, I know I know, but if he had gone he was going to Duke so he qualifies. "I made one mistake and that was adultery”---fuck outta here!
4) Elton Brand - This big block headed dude is from Catskills New York. Are you serious? The Catskills????????
3) Chris Carrawell - He was the best worst college player of all time, He had no skill, just a 15-footer. But, he scored 20 every night. What in thee fuck? Plus he was the most bow legged dude to ever walk on a court. That’s just corny.
2) Danny Ferry - He was too good to play for the Clippers, so he went and stunk it up for the Cavs. And can someone tell me how on God's green Earth he became the GM of the Cavs, because I want to be VP of operations for the New York Mets.
1) And of course the corniest player in Duke history is Christian Laettner. Who else could it be?
FYI - Bobby Hurley is cool (he's from Jersey too), Maggette is cool (mostly because he only stayed for one year), Billy McCaffrey was cool (because he transferred...fuck Coach K), Mark Alarie is cool (only because my hatred of Duke had yet to set in, while he was there). And Johnny Dawkins and Mike Gminski are cool of course because they are both former Sixers. But other than that Duck FUKE!
