FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot with Reggie Eggert

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Reggie Eggert (30)

-Loves any movie with black people in it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20 minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s all they deserve.

FiyaStarter RATING =

Fiyaballs

Movie Review

Street Kings
Keanu Saves a World of Terrible Actors.
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment

Street Kings, the new grittay cop flick starring world rescuer extraordinaire, Keanu Reeves makes good on its star’s advanced billing.

Kinda.

In this one Dat ‘Nu doesn’t exactly save the world like he does in all his other movies, but he does manage to save the film from all its horrible cliché officer and criminal portrayals. From Terry Crews’ wrinkled forehead starring as the mad ass black detective, to the Hispanic simp from Prison Break as the…yup, dumb Hispanic cop, to Jay Mohr’s horrible mustache as Sgt. comedy relief, right on through Game and Common as unconvincing criminals who seem to be reading from cue cards. (Especially Common. Wow…I’ve seen Nick Cannon play a more convincing thug during sketch comedy.) Most of the supporting cast was just hard to watch.

Anyway, during this paid vacation before he plays his next real role, our screenplay savior Keanu is Detective Tom Ludlow, a crooked officer with a twisted set of values. Like, he’s really a good guy deep down, so you’re willing to overlook his slight crookedness. You know, like that uncle with the wishbone shaped leg causing him to dip around? You’ve seen it so much, you’re as immune to it as you are homicides on the evening news.

*segue*

Speaking of which, that’s Keanu’s little bad habit; he be shooting muhfukkas first and asking them questions late---wait, how come people say this dumb shit? If you shoot someone how are you gonna ask them something later on, if they’re dead? Stupid.

So, yeah, Dat ‘Nu is a killer cop, but just his luck Terry Crews’ mad ass gets lit up right in front of him and before people find out he was there, he has to find the dirtbags who did wrinkles in and make sense of all the shady shit his ass has gotten into.

Oh yes, the story is as basic as no premium channel cable, but just to give a few supporting cast members their due in helping it along, I will say Forest Whitaker and Hugh Laurie (House M.D.) who play Keanu’s commanding officers do an above average job at cleverly throwing wrenches in his plans.

And before I forget, Cedric was god-awful in this too. He kept saying “Mayne.” I wanted him to die right after his first scene. Now, I had to wait awhile, but he did get his ass killed, so that worked out.