Don't even let a nigga talk you into seeing this bullshit. If you've seen one flashy post-Tarantino gangster flick you’ve seen them all. It looks good, but it's not good. Smokin' Aces is the kinda hipster bullshit I thought Hollywood stopped making a decade ago. Shit, they coulda just re-heated 2 Days In The Valley and served it to movie goers, because I don't see the difference.
I have no doubt this dumb ass movie came to be during a celebrity poker game. Piven was there chatting it up with writer/director Joe Carnahan, who actually has made a good movie (Narc), and a few names were thrown around and they got the green light from some greasy greedy ass exec.
Greasy Greedy Exec: “What? Vegas? Cards? Rap Star Cameos? Guns? HELL YEAH!!! Go shoot it! I'll release it as soon as you finish.”
Jeremy Piven, who is gonna get all the parts and pussy he can out of this current hot streak he's seeing, plays Buddy "Aces" Israel, Vegas showman and Mob informant. Israel has a deal with the Feds to bring down what's left of the Mafia, so that makes him a wanted man, of course. Every wacked out contract killer available is hired to take out Buddy before he can take the stand. We get psycho neo-Nazi brothers (played by three white guys so generic that they need not be identified by name), two lesbians (Taraji P. Henson and real-life heterosexual, so she says, Alicia Keys), some law enforcement dirtbags (Ben Affleck and a couple other muhfuckas) and two foreign guys (who the fucks cares, man?).
So, that's the set up. Here are the highlights...
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Taraji camps out in this hotel room across the street from where Bubby's hiding out with a big ass canon-like gun and takes out like ten dudes during one action sequence. This gun is really the star of the movie. Those bullets rip through bunches of cops and killers, making them do backflips and shit. Chests explode, walls are ripped to shreds....this gun is the ONLY reason for you to see this movie.
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Oh shit, how did I forget to mention Common? Lemme tell you about Common's fucked up acting. Man, if you thought Nas couldn't act, this nigga....this nigga...WOW!!! He was 10th grade-dumb-jock-playing-Romeo-in-school-play-bad BAD!!! I couldn't believe it. In this one scene, they may as well have put Piven in front of a blue screen because Common was just standing there like an adult does while their waiting for a toddler to come off the potty. And that wasn't even the worst part. So, after the big shootout with the cops and killer, he and Keys escape via a stairwell, and at one point he looks in here eyes and says "You know saved this black man's life, right?" <---------this is why I check for this dude. He EXTRA than a muhfucka!!!
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Piven's card tricks. They’re good. I dunno if he really did all those tricks, but I was impressed. If this movie woulda been 90 minutes of him doing card tricks? Five fiya balls.
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Five minutes of the most hyperactive kid is movie history. I usually don’t give in to such blatant appeals for laughter, but damn this lil boy had some comedy. He had some nunchucks, and…well, trust me, they were stupid and funny.
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The sexual tension between Taraji and Alicia. Mmmhuh. I saw it.
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Affleck's eight minutes of screen time. Dude should try more comedies. He's pretty funny.
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The merciful ending.
