FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot with Reggie Eggert

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Reggie Eggert (30)

-Loves any movie with black people in it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20 minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s all they deserve.

FiyaStarter RATING =

(2½)Fiyaballs

Movie Review

Righteous Kill
Don't Blame 50...Not For This Tank.
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment

When describing the 2007 released cop flick, We Own The Night, some unimportant hack is quoted as saying it was “terribly written and just a great waste of actors.” If only 50 wasn’t a part of Righteous Kill, I could have just reran the rest of that dude’s review and spent my time doing something useful, like sectioning the big ass grapefruit on my kitchen table---

You know what? I’m not gonna take the easy way out of this review like everyone else who has bombed this film and blame it all on Curtis. The bottom line is this joint didn’t meet expectations and it had little to do with 50. Sure he can’t act, but that don’t have shit to do with this ordinary ass story and its lack of star Fiya.

Without giving too much away, Kill takes you on a ride through the lives of a few cops looking for a poetically challenged serial killer. With Detective Turk (De Niro) framing some dirtbag early on, he seems like the odds on favorite, but is he ultimately the murderer? Believe it or not, that’s not very important here. What is important and what everyone was so excited about this film for was the interaction between Turk and his partner Rooster played by Al Pacino.

Coming off legendary chemistry the two gave us in The Godfather Part II and Heat, this was a bigger disappointment than when you found out Santa Claus was every grown up in your family except your deadbeat father. I was completely dumbfounded at the conclusion of this movie, coming to grips with the realization that the magic I was waiting for never materialized. I knew it would be difficult to top the airfield scene they last gave us in Heat, but this was more along the lines of Clooney and any other cast member of The Good German…well, maybe not that bad, but damn close.

John Leguizamo and Donnie Wahlberg aka the junior Turk and Rooster of the NYPD had much more chemistry than Bobby and Pac with about a third of the screen time.

Honestly, I’m tired of racking my brain trying to figure out whether or not I’m out to lunch on this one. With that, I’ve made my mind up that everyone involved in Righteous Kill joined the cast with reasons other than making a good film. I even made a nice chart to illustrate it.

Actor(s)	Reason for working on this uninspiring project
Leguizamo, Wahlberg and every other supporting actor	got to work with Bobby & Pac
Carla Gugino	had the pleasure of being spanked by a legend
Curtis Jackson	tryna transition out of his monotonous rap career
De Niro	got to pull hair and spank a young hot piece of ass
Pacino	*still working on this one, check back later