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Reggie Eggert (30)

-Loves any movie with black people in it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20 minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s all they deserve.


FiyaStarter RATING = Fiyaball

Movie Review

The Prestige
M. Night Shaymalan Would Be Scourged For This Bullshit.
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment

Before I take a dump on this movie, let me just say that I am a huge fan of Christopher Nolan's films. I remember renting Following about five years ago, thinking it was one of the most original and interesting movies I'd ever seen, and I've been following Nolan since. He soon re-upped with his masterpiece Memento, which thrust him into cultural prominence and practically ensured that he'd soon accept a seven-figure deal to direct a lame remake of a superior European film. That superior Euro film was called Insomnia, and it's the only time you will see Stellan Skarsgard deliver a better performance than Al Pacino when given the same part. His most well-known work is, of course, Batman Begins, which restored the franchise after that fucking Clooney tried to kill it, but only succeeded in killing the careers of Alicia Silverstone and Chris O'Donnell.   

*Sigh* Fucking Clooney, man. Damn him!

So, I didn't think The Prestige was that great. Here's why: A quarter of the way through this joint, I realized I was watching an M. Night Shaymalan movie. I knew there would be a twist and I made it my business to figure it out and thereby ruin the movie for myself. I know that may seem petty, but that's the way M. Night movies are judged these days, so I'm just freestyling with the tide. The look of the movie doesn't matter. The immaculate sets and the brilliant lighting don't mean anything, because I figured out that twist, and that means the movie is contrived and lame. NOPE!!! Y'all wanna hate on M. Night? Well, that's what the fuck it means. All Nolan's movies are starting to look the same; Moody, dark, distant and inaccessible to dumb people. If M. Night gets ripped for making the same movie over and over, then Nolan’s gonna get the same treatment here at FiyaStarter. If there's one thing you cannot deny about us is that we will ride for niggas we fucks wit, and nobody is gonna call out M. Night for doing some shit and then give the next muhfucka a pass without us pointing that shit out. NOOOOPE!!! Nolan be making the same movie and I'MMA TALK ABOUT IT!

Matter of fact, I'ma spoil this bullshit for everyone, so if you don't wanna know the wack ass ending, and how I knew what the wack ass ending would be, I suggest you click off.

So, Jackman and Bale are rival magicians. Bale accidentally kills Jackman's wife (Piper Perabo) during a trick. Jackman avenges her death by blowing off two of Bale's fingers during a trick. With me? Great. Here's where Nolan fucks up and gets a little too cute and gives away the Big Reveal. Bale's girlfriend is cleaning his wounded hand and she blurts out, "How could it be bleeding again? I just treated it the other day," or something to that effect. So, I'm sitting there like, "Oh, that ain't the same muhufucka. There's no other reason for this scene. You don't just throw dialogue like that into a scene for no reason. That's his twin or some shit. This muhfucka got a twin brother! I bet it's his assistant...in some makeup! Look at those unnatural ass cheeks and that dumb ass mustache!"

And the movie was over for me.

M. Night would never make it that obvious.

 



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