FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot with Reggie Eggert

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Reggie Eggert (30)

-Loves any movie with black people in it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20 minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s all they deserve.

FiyaStarter RATING =

Fiyaballs

Movie Review

John Tucker Must Die
Ashanti Scores Again At The Box Office.
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment

Ashanti does it again. The most talented R&B singer/actress since Diana Ross has scored another hit with John Tucker Must Die, a teen comedy that actually isn't that bad. When we last saw her on the big screen, 'Shanti was showing us that she can bring the drama, with her stellar performance in Coach Carter. In Tucker, 'Shanti illustrates some considerable acting talent, as she displays a sense of comedic timing that is on par with her dramatic abilities. I know one thing: Beyonce can't do that.

NOOOOPE!!!!

They shoulda got 'Shanti to do that Pink Panther, because she’s better. GOOD! Beyonce's posing and primping throughout that movie made her time on screen with Steve Martin seem stale and forced. If they had cast that 'Shanti, she would have lit up the screen with that smile of hers, and her infectious laughter would have livened up those scenes and breathed some much needed life into that movie. That film should have been a blockbuster. But, hey, they chose to cast Beyonce and her hypersexual persona, all but ensuring that parents would keep kids far away from this one. Their choice.

Anyway, 30 year-old Jesse Metcalk plays the title character in this one, a self-centered jock who's banged pretty much every cute girl at his high school. The plot unfolds when three girls ('Shanti and two non-descript white girls) learn that Tucker has been reaching up under all their hoods and checking their oil at the same time. AWWWWWWW SHIT! No, he didn't (yeah, he did)!

These silly little girls recruit “The New Girl,” played by It Doesn't Matter, Does It?, to play hard to get with Tucker and get him to fall for her, hoping to break his heart they way he broke their hymens. Sure enough, “The New Girl,” armed with her new pussy, prove to be irresistible to the poon chasing meathead. Tucker is at her mercy, making a fool of himself in front of his boys and declaring his love for “The New Girl” to every student within shouting distance.

I know this review reads like I'm hatin’ like hell on this movie, but y'all don't understand how good 'Shanti was in this joint. She lit up that screen. Damn! She’s just so talented. I know some of y'all hate her because she can't dance, she took Aaliyah's spot and she's Beyonce's primary rival, but y'all gonna have to get over it. 'Shanti is the next big thing in Hollywood. It ain't her fault she's got an air sincerity about her. It ain't her fault she looks adorable and annoying at the same time when she squeal's, "That's bananas!" Y'all just hatin' because all she had to do was two-step her way to multi-plat, while Beyonce gotta be out there shakin' her funky ass to get some buzz. NOPE!!!! 'Shanti!

So, while Beyonce is acting a damn fool in that video, kicking up that sand and shit like she’s the Road Runner, 'Shanti gonna be chillin' on the beach somewhere reading scripts and deciding which fully-clothed, non-embarrassing part she's gonna take next.

And I already know what you're thinking, so don't bother. Any success Dreamgirls has will be because of Jamie and Eddie, not her. And if it tanks, it's her fault.

They shoulda cast 'Shanti any damn way.