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FiyaStarter RATING =  FiyaballsMovie Review
Perfect. NOPE, no one trumps Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark; not Tobey as Spider-Man (that “I’m Spider-Man!” declaration redefined the lo in melodramatic), not Roth as Superman (let’s be reality, he hasn’t made anyone forget Christopher Reeve), not even Bale as Batman (great as Bats, much too cold as Bruce). Downey Jr. did what no other actor has been able to do in these high budget eye candy films; he made the actionless scenes just as good, if not better, than the ones filled with flying machines and weapon filled bullet-time sequences. As his inaugural journey has it, Tony Stark, the womanizing, WMD building, sharp tongued-millionaire gets kidnapped and forced to build a big ass rocket by some ‘rrists rocking those cool scarfs dudes in DC been rocking since the early 90’s. Instead of building the rocket, he builds himself a substitute heart and iron suit he then uses to escape. A Whopper and candid press conference later and Stark decides that he has to use his warped destructive mind to help innocent people instead of indirectly blowing their asses up. Of course there are those that don’t like this, but that’s alright since if they did this movie would have been really short. The rest of the film is all Downey Jr.’s charisma going wild like Hulkamania on a mid-80’s rule breaker. Goddamn, Rob is witty. Even when he’s getting his ass kicked, them snappy comebacks make it all good until he gets his second wind. Please Jesus, keep this guy clean. I’m not only talking about for the inevitable Iron Man sequel, other great comedic and dramatic roles on tap…hell, not even for his own well being, but we need DJ sober so he can do that Marvel Avengers movie with Samuel L. as Nick Fury (stay until the last credit is rolled). Can you imagine them fiya exchanges between Samuel L. and DJ with Terrence Howard, possibly Ed Norton and whoever they get to play Thor in tow? “Mothafucka, them villains are kickin us all in the ass. “What?! Y’all gonna put up with this bullshit?!” –Fury “Hulk wanna Incredible Hulk and stripper to smash.” –Hulk “Vodka straight up and make my two strippers blond. Sorry, Nick.” –Thor “Yeah Thor, whoop them tricks.” –War Machine (Howard for the non-nerds) My smile gonna be…
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Big Earl: GET OUT THE WAY! |
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To quote the great Scrooge McDuck, “I would nuh believe it, if I did nuh see it!” Iron Man featured an absolute perfect modern day portrayal of a superhero and his alter ego.
