FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot with Reggie Eggert

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“My team ALWAYS plays better
at home. We don't travel well.”
-The Good Doctor
...with a sex reference

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Reggie Eggert (30)

-Loves any movie with black people in it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20 minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s all they deserve.

FiyaStarter RATING =

Fiyaballs

Movie Review

Jet Li's Fearless
You Used To Be My Hero, What Happened?
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment

Do all good things really come to an end? According to Jet Li, the overused cliché rings true in regard to his movie career, as he claims the martial arts segment of those films is over. What a dumb ass. Unless he lucks up like Jackie Chan and finds him a Chris Tucker, what the fuck else is he gonna do? Really? He can’t DO anything but beat the shit outta people with them ‘Arts. If you saw a marquee with him and Sandra Bullock on it, what would you think? The same thing I would, “Hmm, do I wanna pay to see Jet kick Sandra in her skinny ass head when they go on their awkward ass date?” No, because he’d never get cast to---oh, my fault, this has already been covered. Lemme refocus.

Fearless, the last ass kicking movie, via them ‘Arts of Jet Li, takes us on a familiar journey with Jet as grief and the subsequent humility guide him on an hour long journey that culminates in the final fight scene where he has a choice of whether honor is more important than getting the W. You know the drill; his family gets all killed up and he sets out to exact revenge, which he thinks is going to make him feel better, but of course doesn’t, so he has to go find himself or something. A few kicks here and some life lessons there and yadda, yadda you’ve got your Jet Li feature film. This storyline is like Groundhog Day with this dude.

Anyway, I know it’s not fair to compare Fearless to something as beautiful and perfect as Li’s past work in Hero, so I’ll instead compare it to my new favorite overseas-asskicker and his recent work. After watching Tony Jaa do all kinds of innovative shit incorporating dem ‘Arts in The Protector, viewing Jet use his version of them ‘Arts in this movie was like having sex with my girl after I’ve seen her plod around the house all day, hair in a scarf, sweats on, etc…then compare it to the first time I smutted her out back when she cared how she looked because she was still tryin’ to reel a nigga in.

Good, but obviously a difference in the two, feel me?

Great, you’ve got it.