Movie
Review
The Great Debaters
The Great Debate: Do Black People Like Positivity?
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment
You dumb, shiftless animals. I am so fed up with you.
They should just call the next one "Fuck Da Kids...We Ignant!"
Do you negroes understand how difficult you are making it for us to complain about the lack of positive black movies? WE DON'T GO SEE THEM!!! And by we, I mean all of y'all black muhfuckas, EXCEPT ME!
Young Black Woman: Why didn't you go see The Great Debaters? It had Denzel in it, didn't it? Is the sight of seeing smart black kids succeed such a turn off that you chose to let Denzel have his poorest performing movie in almost six years? You know what his last bomb was called? ANTWONE FISHER!!! You know what Antwone Fisher was about? Of course you don’t, because you avoided it like a 40 year-old brotha with no kids and a job...like, "I don't trust that nigga...nobody else want him, so why should I?"
Older Black Woman: Don't you love Denzel? Don't you love the kids? What the fuck, then? WHAT THE FUCK?!?! You're breaking my heart. Couldn't y'all get your ‘lil church groups together and go see this one like y'all do for Madea all the time?
Young Black Man: Whatever. Y'all muhfuckas are prolly high right now, laughing while you read this.
Older Black Man: I know you’re old. I know you're tired. I know you hate everybody and just want your alcohol, but your work aint done, you old, ornery ass bamma. YOU AIN'T DONE!!! You still gotta support what younger brothers and sisters are trying to accomplish out here. So, put on your slacks and your sweater vests and go see some black films. The game can wait. Your team is gonna lose anyway.
Black Teenagers: You MySpacebook addicted little morons! GET OFF YOUR ASSES! I know you don't wanna be bothered right now and you wanna see your li'l horror movies and silly comedies, but are you really that dumb? You gotta be about more than that. Don't you care to see yourselves up on the screen as something other than dancing machines and gang members? What if they had put Omarion and Chris Brown in this? It'd be horribly acted, but I might accept the artistic hit for the financial gain.
The Great Debaters isn't the best movie ever, but it's damn sure one of the best of 2007, but I'm afraid there will be little recognition for it, outside of the usual NAACP Award that goes to all the positive black films that tank each year. I can see it now...
Angela Bassett: “And the Black People's Award for Positive Black Movie That Bombed goes to...”
Well done, Y'all. Well done.
