FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot with Reggie Eggert

-

“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

Comments on content?
email us

Wanna submit something?
*read this page

Reggie Eggert (30)

-Loves any movie with black people in it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20 minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s all they deserve.

FiyaStarter RATING =

(4½) Fiyaballs

Movie Review

The Dark Knight
Don't Kill Me, Please
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment

It's everything they said it would be. It looks amazing. Heath Ledger is incredible. It's just not better than Ironman.

No. I'm sorry. It's not.

We can't compare them? Bullshit. No one had any problem shitting on Spiderman in order to prop up Ironman, so I don't see why The Dark Knight deserves a pass.

In the pantheon of comic book movies, I'd put TDK at a solid #3 behind Spiderman 2 and Ironman. How you ask?

First off, it was a tad long, the fight scenes were average and I don’t even want to get into the whole trip to and from Hong Kong without a complete international mess following. Then, there wasn't any back story on the Joker. Many critics have tried to pass this off as a plus, but I aint buying it. It's not contrivance to show how this guy came to be, but it is, indeed, laziness to not. It's also kinda boring. When you're making a fucking comic book movie, you have to explain the villain. Period. It's the Joker in a Batman movie, not Anton Chigurh in a Coen Brothers' flick. Who is Christopher Nolan to change the game? It was tight the way they developed Two-Face, so I'm sure they coulda pulled off something cool with the Joker...in a two and a half hour film!

For me, TDK will always be the In Utero of film, ultimately overrated because the star died young. In Utero was a great album, but, eh...Vs. (Ironman) was just a little better.

I aint here to hate. In fact, I'd like to praise Ledger on a performance for the ages. Dude was pure evil, yet so captivating, you almost bought what he was selling. He owned every minute he was on the screen. I hate to admit it, but I was halfway looking to be disappointed by his performance, figuring there was no way he could make good on the hype. Well, he surpassed it. I haven't seen such a charismatic performance since Denzel in Training Day. At this point, it's pretty much a guarantee that he will be nominated for a best supporting actor Oscar, and it will be well-deserved.

If everything about this movie were as perfect as Ledger, I'd have no complaints. Christian Bale was fine in the title role, but his growl as Batman was so damn annoying. Dude sounded like Satan in the Golden Child talking to Sardo Numspa. I was like "...fuck is this nigga doing?" Aaron Eckhart was great as Harvey Dent/Two-Face. Hell, I don't see why he's not getting some Oscar talk his damn self. And I’m sorry, but Maggie Gyllenhaal was just not the right person for the female lead. People can talk that mess about her bringing "depth" and "character" to the role, but the bottom-line is...she’s weird-looking. People hating on Katie Holmes like she was terrible or some shit. Um, no she wasn't. She's just Tom Cruise's wife, and being Tom Cruise's anything is auto-hate.

There were certain things with the plot that also pissed me off. What was the point of the accountant learning Batman's true identity? Not one thing. All it did was add 10 minutes to the damn movie. I had to pee and I coulda done without all that. The only purpose it served was to get Morgan Freeman some more screen time. Nolan knew he fucked up and had to re-write the damn script and get Morgan more lines. I bet they paid Morgan 5-8 million dollars for 5-8 minutes of screen time. That's just sloppy. Having said this, if the accountant turns out to be The Riddler, I will retract this paragraph in a few years. It makes all the sense in the world, but following Ledger’s performance up with a little known TV actor as the lead villain isn’t something I can see this franchise banking on.

Anyway, I can't give this joint a superior rating, because in the summer of Ironman, you gotta come perfect with comic characters. The Dark Knight fell just a bit short. It took itself just a bit too seriously. It probably deserves no more than a 3.5 but I'll give it a 4.5, because it did feature Eric Roberts.

*Also, I predict The Dark Knight will smash every opening weekend and first week record due to the most diverse group of movie goers ever, including:

nerds and fan boys that have been in line since February
hipsters ready to claim the latest fallen actor as the GOAT
homosexuals (the Brokeback Joker line isn’t as funny to Tobey, Johnny and Vince now, is it?)
general summer movie goers
chicks that have been drunken with the Ledger tragedy on TMZ and E!
the curious occasional moviegoer getwit (last seen at The Matrix Revolutions premier)