FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot with Reggie Eggert

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Reggie Eggert (30)

-Loves any movie with black people in it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20 minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s all they deserve.

FiyaStarter RATING =

Fiyaball

Movie Review

Dan in Real Life
Dan Is Real White.
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment

This is, without a doubt, the whitest movie I have ever seen. In fact, it may be the whitest thing I have ever seen. From the whole family playing touch football on the front lawn of their seaside New England home to the whiney teenage daughter through the unexplained Asian girl, it was the most overbearingly white liberal piece of garbage I've ever seen. After I left theater, I asked myself, "What could be whiter than Dan In Real Life?"

Hmmmmm.

Powerful question, isn't it? Here's what I've come up with so far:

Laura Bush singing The Sound of Music on the White House Lawn, with squirrels and dogs, dressed in little knitted sweaters, frolicking around her.
A polo match between the Kennedy family and the Carnegie clan, held at Foxboro stadium. The winner gets to have their youngest adult female impregnated by Tom Brady in a secret ritualistic fucking inside the Skull and Bones tomb on Yale’s campus.
French toast made with rye.
David Eckstein sprinting out a sharp one-hopper to the first baseman, pulling up horribly lame, as he tears a hammy, an ACL and an Achilles, then being carted off the field to a 10-minute round of applause.
Gentrifiers walking up in Anacostia Park with gray sweats and tightly laced hi-tops, talkin’ ‘bout they got next run.
Lionel Ritchie singin’ All Night Long at the Republican National Convention.
Katie Couric…breathing through her tight ass face.
Lance Armstrong tearfully (and finally) admitting he used steroids, only to have white America applaud him for his honesty. He goes on to write a best seller about sportsmanship and ethics. Seeing the opening, Barry Bonds admits he used steroids and is promptly sentenced to five years in federal prison for perjury.
Cocaine…in every possible sense.
Dean and Deluca’s business and marketing strategy. I've noticed. The damn place is about as black folk friendly as the aforementioned GOP convention. You're welcomed to go, but...not really.

Got anymore?