FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot with Reggie Eggert

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“I'm completely wrong.”
-Steve Smith
Panthers receiver, rumored character
in next Punisher film.

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Reggie Eggert (30)

-Loves any movie with black people in it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20 minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s all they deserve.

FiyaStarter RATING =

Fiyaballs

Movie Review

21
Capatilizing Off LV Deprivation (LVD).
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment

Wanna make something ignorantly popular in 2008? Well, here’s a sure-Fiya recipe:

Dip that bitch in a thick ass batter of Las Vegas and watch as your creation simmers, then bubbles to the top.

Forget the latest desert fight featuring the half brain damaged Mexican of your choice; everything since the 2007 NBA All-Star Weekend that has touched the Vegas strip has grown into a phenomenon. I attribute these events to the disease known as LV Deprivation (LVD). Broke and not as broke muhfuckkas have been starving for another taste of Vegas ever since that magical ’07 February weekend left the impression of bright lights in their heads, even when they closed their eyes real tight.

That ‘Deprivation has recently propelled videos from Snoop and Wayne to the top of music video countdowns, made Jay and Juan even richer with their 15th successful 40/40 opening in the past four months, helped score Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas enormous video game sales and of course, excited Cheese Eyes and Charles on them crap tables only to soon break their asses, yet again.

So, you can imagine how unsurprised I was when 21 topped the box office with over $23 million in sales its first week.

It makes perfect sense. I mean, this movie has it all for the withdrawn LVD’s out there: gambling, partying, bright lights, jumbo shrimp cocktail, incredible views from balcony suites, strippers, sex in balcony suites with incredible views, champagne, shopping and Morpheus finally making it to that big ass room of TV’s that eluded him throughout The Matrix Trilogy.

In between the cesspool of events just detailed, we have Kevin Spacey and that ‘lil piece of hair on the top of his head celebrating its Silver Anniversary, both sharing the role of Mickey Rosa, an M.I.T. professor that teaches his exceptional students and an Asian packrat the ins and outs of counting cards in Blackjack. Executing their perfect strategy on weekend trips between Boston and Vegas, Mickey and his minions are down one player, so they recruit numbers nerd Ben Campbell played by Jim Sturgess (The First, Second and Final Quest). He turns Spacey and his hair puff down. So, after the two (Spacey and the puff) talk it over, they send in the hottest piece of ass on the team (AKA their American Beauty…NOOOPE!) to obtain Ben’s brain. The hot ass is played by Kate Bosworth and boy was she hot. So hot, it worked, in fact. Good ass call, puff.

Campbell says he’s in, but only to pay for medical school.

Yeah, ok.

In the most ironic scene of the film, Morph catches Ben’s greedy ass tryna cheat the system and soon has him tied up to a chair beating the shit out of him just like Agent Smith whooped him years ago.

Hahahahahahaha! Larry on getback.

HOT FIYA!