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"Man, if that was a Nigga..."
Winners
of the "Man, if that was a Nigga..." Award for
the week ending 11/3/07:
As soon as I heard this former number one tennis player, had not only tested positive for cocaine, but was immediately retiring from the sport (running), while maintaining her “innocence,” I thought to myself, Man, if that was a William---err---I mean a Nigga, they would have stripped her of every title she’d won, burned every extension in her head that she bought with her winnings and sent her father on a boat to West Africa.
When the judge that sentenced Andy Reid’s sons to 23 months in jail likened the house that they live in, which just happens to be the home of their Philadelphia Eagles head coaching dad to a “drug emporium,” I waited for the fallout, but there hasn’t been one yet. Man, if that was a Nigga, his job in the NFL would have been gone quickier than wing-dings at a fight party. I mean, Commisioner Roger Goddell is the one that said “people living in your house are your responsibility,” (*see Mike Vick) right?
Recently, Francis had harsh criticism for Robert Dinero and Al Pacino remarking that they were “lazy" and "living off the land.” And as my grandson would say, he went "all the way in" on Jack Nicholas calling him a “waste of talent,” for his happy go lucky lifestyle. I know, I know; he’s a legend and he directed the Godfather Trilogy (as in including Part III), but in all fairness, he also executive produced two Jeepers Creepers and…ahhh fuck all that. Man, if that was a nigga, every actor in Hollywood would have been forbidden to work with his ass for a century or risk being sentenced to a New Line Cinema three picture deal with Morris Chestnut and the dude that played Joe on The Facts of Life.
Only a bald, white drugged up negligent mother of two that can’t complete a sentence without the word “Y’all” could have the number one album in the country after all these problems. Man, if that was a Nigga, the extent of her airtime would have been calling into the local urban radio station for a chance to win them Shalamar reunion tickets. People better buy Whitney's next CD.
If I told you a famous Laker caught a DUI with a 23-year-old chick riding shotgun back in May, what type of disciplinary action do you think Commissioner Stern would have given him? Certainly not a two game “suspension” and $25,000 fine. Look, I understand he’s the owner, but shouldn’t that hold him to an even higher standard? Man, if that was a Nigga, that played for his team, he would have been suspended for 14 games and had his paycheck direct deposited to the Orange County yacht club. If that was a black owner, his team would have been given away in a raffle.
Cut the BS. He called that girl the N word. They don’t even want to let that rapper boy Nas use it and HE’S BLACK! Man, if that was a Nigga, it wouldn’t have been an issue, because WE can do it, but Dog is white so he’s got to fry. I see they’ve taken the initial steps, but A&E better not try to Imus this up and keep him on the shelf for a hot second then bring him back on another channel. I’ve got my eye on this dirty fake ass Diamond Dallas Page.
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FIYA NBA Ranks: #9 |
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